Hi,
My names Mike - and i'm exhausted...
My wife has a combination of Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue syndrome, which leaves her very immobile. When we go out she's generally in a wheelchair, and she has to "furniture walk" in the house to get around.
She's unable to help with housework, either due to the physical exertion or due to the mind fog she very often gets where her memory is completely shot and she forgets even the most basic routines such as, eating, drinking, getting up
We have 2 kids, one 6 yrs old and the other a baby
The combination of early starts, and late finishes is leaving me totally exhausted and infuriated.
I feel guilty for feeling this way, as I know my wife cannot help it.
Some times, she can appear relatively normal - and can help out a lot more, and I quickly get used to her chipping in and the days being a little easier, but then without warning - she can lapse into a bad patch, and whereas the day before she was fine - the next day she can't get up, or struggles with everything, needing help getting in and out of bed, downstairs etc. I tend to leave food ready prepared for the day when this happens so she doesnt need to do anything in the kitchen.
Sometimes its very easy to mistake the condition M.E for laziness and I suppose my wifes laid back attitude in general doesnt help differentiate between her condition being worse, and just putting things off til later
I've felt very guilty before now, nagging her to do jobs like wash the dishes... and then within a couple of minutes I can see her physically shaking with exhertion to do the job.. and I help her to sit down... I really wish I could read the condition better so I didnt push her too hard when she is genuinely not well enough...
If I could do all the jobs I would.. but with 2 children as well, and working a 9-5 job which means i'm out of the house from 8 til 6, there is just never enough time in the day. Often finishing stuff around the house gone 10pm - and so I never get to just be "me"... is that selfish for me to want that?... I sometimes don't know if it is or not...
I'm afraid to go away for breaks of any kind, as I know my wife cannot really cope without me... she could probably get by with visits from friends, and my 6 yr old helping out.. but thats not fair on him
I feel bad for my kids - as I don't get enough time to play with them as i'm always "working"... so I try to make the weekends special for them if I am able to... but more often than not I am just catching up on the week and don't have the time to give them what they deserve
Maybe I need to let go of the idea that life can be normal, relaxed and enjoyable..... but I'm not sure I could cope at all if I gave up striving to try and make things better some how
I just don't know what to do... sometimes, driving to work, I burst into tears for no reason and have to pull myself together before I get to work.
Having read other posts here, I can see that my situation is not anywhere near as bad as others - I don't know how other people manage in their situations when i'm struggling with just this...
My names Mike - and i'm exhausted...
My wife has a combination of Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue syndrome, which leaves her very immobile. When we go out she's generally in a wheelchair, and she has to "furniture walk" in the house to get around.
She's unable to help with housework, either due to the physical exertion or due to the mind fog she very often gets where her memory is completely shot and she forgets even the most basic routines such as, eating, drinking, getting up
We have 2 kids, one 6 yrs old and the other a baby
The combination of early starts, and late finishes is leaving me totally exhausted and infuriated.
I feel guilty for feeling this way, as I know my wife cannot help it.
Some times, she can appear relatively normal - and can help out a lot more, and I quickly get used to her chipping in and the days being a little easier, but then without warning - she can lapse into a bad patch, and whereas the day before she was fine - the next day she can't get up, or struggles with everything, needing help getting in and out of bed, downstairs etc. I tend to leave food ready prepared for the day when this happens so she doesnt need to do anything in the kitchen.
Sometimes its very easy to mistake the condition M.E for laziness and I suppose my wifes laid back attitude in general doesnt help differentiate between her condition being worse, and just putting things off til later
I've felt very guilty before now, nagging her to do jobs like wash the dishes... and then within a couple of minutes I can see her physically shaking with exhertion to do the job.. and I help her to sit down... I really wish I could read the condition better so I didnt push her too hard when she is genuinely not well enough...
If I could do all the jobs I would.. but with 2 children as well, and working a 9-5 job which means i'm out of the house from 8 til 6, there is just never enough time in the day. Often finishing stuff around the house gone 10pm - and so I never get to just be "me"... is that selfish for me to want that?... I sometimes don't know if it is or not...
I'm afraid to go away for breaks of any kind, as I know my wife cannot really cope without me... she could probably get by with visits from friends, and my 6 yr old helping out.. but thats not fair on him
I feel bad for my kids - as I don't get enough time to play with them as i'm always "working"... so I try to make the weekends special for them if I am able to... but more often than not I am just catching up on the week and don't have the time to give them what they deserve
Maybe I need to let go of the idea that life can be normal, relaxed and enjoyable..... but I'm not sure I could cope at all if I gave up striving to try and make things better some how
I just don't know what to do... sometimes, driving to work, I burst into tears for no reason and have to pull myself together before I get to work.
Having read other posts here, I can see that my situation is not anywhere near as bad as others - I don't know how other people manage in their situations when i'm struggling with just this...