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Going Mad - Carers UK Forum

Going Mad

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
This sounds melodramatic I know, but I feel as though I am. I am a carer for my husband, who has early onset dementia and my Mum who is old disabled and stubborn. I am quite a laid back person but the whole caring performanace, contacting social care, dealing with health problems, appointments etc etc is quite unbelievable. It is bad enough coping with the actual illnesses without having the stress of accessing care needs. My solution is to have a glass of wine in the evening, and to swear and curse (of course). Next week my husband is going into respite care for two weeks (AMAZING!) his consultant felt sorry for me and he is going into a specialised unit for dementia care. I didn't even know this existed, I still feel guilty about it as the in patients seem quite advanced, even though he is getting there (not quite yet though). I know this is right but you cannot help who you are, the care will be excellent.
any comments gratefully received.
Hi and welcome to the forum. Caring changes even the most laid back of us. I see no reason for you to feel guilty, hopefully you'll be able to get a bit of "you" time whilst hubby is in respite.

Firstly, welcome to the forum!
I think it's natural to feel guilty in those circumstances, we all do it Image I don't feel there's any need to feel guilty, but I know it's easier said than done. Hope it helps you cope, caring's not easy so anything that gives you some time to yourself is good.
Hi and welcome to the forum Image

Guilt seems to be one of those things that goes with the territory of being a Carer Image I can join you on the swearing and cursing (I do it for England some days Image Image ) but being teetotal can't join you on the wine Image

Congratulations on being able to access respite care for your OH - I'm still trying to get some for my Mum so that I can have a break, only a week but respite places are rarer than hen's teeth in these parts Image Make the most of the time you have and get right away if at all possible for some well deserved 'me' time.

In the meantime feel free to come on here and have a good rant now and then, it really does help Image
Welcome from me too!!!!! You are not on your own with this one....I too felt guilty when my mum had to go into care as I promised her it would not happen, but when you don't know what's around the corner you have to the best thing!!!!!!

HI Paula, and welcome to the forum!

As has already been said, you seem quite normal for a carer ie, going mad.

A glass of wine is a good way to destress after any day, be careful to moderate yourself. I'm sure you do, but it's just part of the carers mantra 'Remember to take care of yourself.'

Hope to see you on different parts of the forum, have a look at 'Roll Call.'
hello and welcome
Hi Paula Image

Welcome to the Forum.

Looking forward to getting to know you. Image

My names Laura and I over use the F word haha. If swearing and drinking (in moderation Image ) helps then go for it, a little of what you fancy does you no harm.

I tend to use this place to vent. Nothing like a good rant to get it out of your system