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Hard coping - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Hard coping

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Morning June,
I am the sole carer for my daughter, I suffer with depression, go to Warners for our mini breaks and are self funding ...so we already have something in common!
I have suffered with a bad bout of depression this year but there is an upside! My GP reviewed my medication, I am now seeing a very good counsellor privately and she is encouraging me to make sure I take some time to do something nice for myself. Something I have been badly neglecting! Is their an organisation you can go to who will provide a sitter for your husband while you have some time to yourself. We have a lovely lady who sits with my daughter for a couple of hours a week and I use this time to see a friend for a coffee, go shopping, see my counsellor or go to the book club I've recently joined!. My daughter enjoys having someone different to talk to and it gives me some valuatble ME TIME.
It is impossible to care long term without finding some quality time for yourself....you will just burn out.
Depression puts a negative spin on everything in your life ....maybe have a chat with your GP and see what they recommend.
Look after yourself.
June, you really should have gone to see the GP. Last January I was very run down after Christmas, as usual, because my son with learning difficulties had been home for a fortnight. I got a cold, which went to my chest, did all the right things but felt so awful that in the end, decided to go and see the GP. He said I was so ill he was in two minds as to whether or not to admit me to hospital! It took nearly three months to shake off.
You sound exhausted.
When did Social Services last do a Needs Assessment for your husband, and a Carers Assessment for yourself?
Do you have a Blue Badge to make parking easier when you are out and about?
Do you have a dishwasher and tumble dryer or washer/dryer?
The trouble is that you are getting older as well as your husband, and his needs are constantly increasing whilst your stamina is not as good as it was ten, or even five years, ago.
However much you don't like the idea, you are going to end up very soon needing much more help. Have you investigated any day centres - transport should be included?
Otherwise, find out what nursing homes are in your area offering regular respite.
The more help you arrange at home, the longer you can care for your husband. I know it's sad even thinking about permanent residential care, but it's better to face these things when there is time to consider the options, rather than be forced to accept somewhere unsuitable in a crisis.
Do get yourself to GP, you might have something more than a cold. Do make sure they know you are a carer, should entitle you to a flu jab, if nothing else

And don't worry about grousing, most of us are finding this time of year hard
June, I hear you. Please don't feel guilty for needing to have a moan. We all need to express our feelings sometimes, and just because you acknowledge how hard this all is on you, does not take away from the love and care that you so obviously give.

Take care xx