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Guilty feelings - Carers UK Forum

Guilty feelings

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
We moved my mum to live with us when she was diagnosed with cancer. At that point she was given 6 months to live so I gave up my career to care for her. That was over 2 years ago. Most of the time we muddle on as best we can with the help of my amazing husband. But I'm tired and feeling trapped which I know is a common feeling. We need a break so I've arranged for mum to go into a care home for a week. She doesn't say anything but she is reluctant. I've offered to get a carer to live in but she doesn't want that either. I don't think she realises what we have . Just need reassurance I'm not being selfish to want some time away from the responsibility
You have nothing to feel guilty about.
The world of an elderly person has shrunk, and all they can think about is their well being, they CANNOT see how much others are doing for them.
You have to be firm about this, you've cared for her so well that she has lasted so much longer than expected.
However, that also means you've been caring so much longer too!!

Can I ask what is wrong with mum?
Are you getting any outside help?
Is she claiming Attendance Allowance?
Is she paying you for what you do for her, as well as her "hotel costs"?
Mum has AA and I've been claiming CA too and mum contributes towards living expenses so finance isn't a problem. Mum was diagnosed with cancer and not expected to live too long at the beginning as we lived at opposite ends of the country we made the decision to move her in with us. She's not difficult most of the time and we have a routine but I feel trapped and want to look forwardto my holiday without feeling guilty!!! I have a sibling that lives at the opposite side of the country but is no support tbh.
If you love and care for mum so much that you have done all this for her, then she should love you enough to give you "time off".