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Hi newbie saying hello! - Carers UK Forum

Hi newbie saying hello!

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hi all! Ive been meaning to join this forum for ages and never got round to it.
Im Lynn and live in the Durham area.
For the last 20 years ive been a carer for my 48 yr old brother who was borm epileptic, also unable to use his left arm at all and problems all down his left side foot, leg,eye etc.
I also look after mr 81 year old mother who is disabled.
Until last year ihad to also care for an old uncle(90) who was wheelchair bound, i had to unfortunatly have help with him and he is now residing in a local nursing home.
I was just wondering how other multi carers manage, the care home has now given me a hospital appointment for this coming week.
I thought that once in a nursing home they saw to all the hospital visits, i mean im 59 and he's a heavy guy to lift if he needed the loo( which he often does)i couldnt manage him! He has no family... I am a relative through marriage.
His attendance allowance was taken from him, hes left with £20 or so a week.
It looks as though im going to have to find time for a number of appointments for him,( its his eye ) while leaving my brother and mother ( brother i claim carers allowance) !
Just wondering how others juggle things like this, and also is it right that the nursing home should ask me to take him to his appointments when they recieve payment for his nursing needs? Lynn
welcome to the forum.
I am a Carer for my husband and son,two years ago my younger son died suddenly, I had been his Carer too,and a few years ago also Carer for my Dad. When Dad went into a Care Home,they arranged hospital and Drs appointments.(They did want family to do it, but my life was just too full with care needs of the rest of my family increasing,and my sister and brother had no interest in helping.)
If you are unable to take him, then ask the Home to organise hospital transport, which they need to do rather than you. If you do it once, then they will expect you do so every time, so just turn them down politely and say it is not an option.
My Dad needed cataract surgery and the Home phoned me to tell me there was an appointment made for him, it was only about three weeks after my son had died,and I certainly could not have safely made a drive of 150 mile round trip.I requested they phone my sister or brother who may be willing. they said they would, but my sister did not get acall,and the Home ended up taking Dad themselves.
Good luck,and stand your ground.
Thanks very much for the reply, and sorry to hear about your troubles, hope things are getting better for you!
I feel that as you say,once i do go to an appointment i willbe running around to every one that comes for him... And in my mind doing a nurse/carers job...... Leaving my own family alone!
They get paid for nursing him..not me... I dont know the correct way to lift him out of a wheelchair onto a loo the nurses do......what happens if im with him, and my brother has an seizure......im in a different town! Its very annoying ! End of rant!..... Thanks for your advice. Kindest Regards, Lynn
Hiya Lynn and a warm welcome to the forum.
Thanks so much!
Hi Lynn and welcome Image
Unfortunately I don't have much experience with being a multi carer or with care homes, but I can still offer you a warm welcome to the forum. Glad to have you here Image
Thanks for the lovely welcomes! Kindest Regards,Lynn
Hi Lynn, and welcome. You have your hands full already, and I think they are pushing their luck. They are paid to care, we aren't. I might be tempted to slide an invoice for £100 across the table next time you go there: and if they ask why, say: "Because I'm worth it!" .
And so you go, you can be nice and be squashed like a bug, or be nasty and have a life of your own, its a simple choice ... Image
Hi and welcome to the forum Image