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Re: First time posting - because I need advice, and quick!

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2018 10:51 pm
by bowlingbun
I agree, with such a huge list of problems already their priority should be establishing exactly what is wrong BEFORE DISCHARGE. Are some of her symptoms caused bt this malignancy, how long has she got?. If it is serious, no treatment, then she needs palliative care until she dies, in a nursing home. You need answers.

Re: First time posting - because I need advice, and quick!

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2018 9:23 am
by jenny lucas
Rosemary, call me cynical, but tests costs money, and I'd put a fiver on the hospital not wanting the expense and the bother, presumably because they either think medically that at her extreme age she hasn't got long to live anyway, or that she is too frail to cope with chemo or surgery. Sounds like they've 'written her off' which is unfair on her, and her family.

All that said, if the tests require a CT scan or MRI, it could be that she could not cope, or would be too restless. However, I would have thought they could start with a simple ultrasound, which is cheap as chips (you can do it off a laptop - I've had an ovarian scan off a laptop in a GP surgery!), totally non-invasive (they do them on unborn children!), and doesn't require you to lie still for more than a few moments, and isn't in the least scary, as you don't go into a machine! A blood test for CA 125 levels is also quick and easy and cheap.

It really sounds like they just can't be bothered, and want her O.U.T ASAP to get the bed back.

Re: First time posting - because I need advice, and quick!

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2018 12:33 pm
by Rosemary_1706
I wouldn't call you cynical. Mum's had the ultrasound, MRI, CT scan and biopsy and now they are debating whether to operate. Today at a consultant meeting I called doing nothing and hospice the elephant in the room!

Changing topic slightly, they say no risk of bedsores returning but I suspect a basic risk assessment will put your mum at high to very high risk of developing bedsores.

Re: First time posting - because I need advice, and quick!

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2018 2:37 pm
by Laura_1803
Hi Rosemary, sorry to hear about your situation. Unfortunately, behavioural issues, especially those relating to dementia can be very unpredictable and tiresome. My father in law has dementia, and for the past couple of months has been living in residential care due to his wife's illness. He's lovely when he talks to her on the phone, the staff say he's great, but as soon as we take him to visit he changes as soon as he walks through the front door -arguing, being unkind, attention seeking behaviour, gorging on cake etc(he's diabetic) We know it's due to the dementia, and this is one of the reasons that she was unable to continue caring for him but it's awful to witness.
My point is, that sometimes even when we still see glimpses of who they used to be, the fact remains that they have changed, and will continue to do so. I think you and your sister need to gave a very frank conversation about whether you are going to be able to continue for your mum at home, especially as there are new concerns about her physical health, or whether the time has come to let trained care staff take over in a specialist setting, whether this is to be a nursing home, or a hospice. Tell the hospital that you are unwilling to accept her back home until there is an appropriate plan of care in place. They cannot turf her out on the street. Does she have a designated social worker? If not, this needs to be arranged as a matter of urgency.
As for the matter of the air mattress, the fact that she suffers from urinary incontinence already places her at a higher risk of bedsores. The Braden scale is used to assess a persons risk. Good luck x