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first posting - Carers UK Forum

first posting

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Hi this is my very first posting, I am currently sat with my mother in law and we aren't having a very good day! she has moderate boardering on severe dementia and we have moved her in with us since february as we didnt like the thought of her being in a care home. I gave up my job to look after her, somedays its very hard please does anyone have any advice? We are a very small family and we have an 11 year old child aswell and dont get any help from anyone. As the illness progresses is it normal for her to be ill more frequently? we have taken her to A & E twice within the last 2 months! What should we expect? Thanks x
Hiya and a warm welcome to the forum.

Hello, Rachie. I'm sorry you are not having such a good day but I am sure you are doing the best you can. I am impressed by what you say - You have shown real commitment. This is often so rare in families these days. So although its hard going, "well done you" is what I say.

Have you contacted anyone locally to find out what support might be available ? This would be a good thing to do I think. People like Age UK and the Alzheimers Society can be extremely useful in knowing what help is around, and they can help you feel less isolated too. You might also need some advice re financial matters and state benefits. These two agencies can help and CAB are superb in this respect. You could also find contacting Social Services useful for information and options for support. Social Services is part of your local council and they will probably have an contact centre you can telephone.

By the way, bad days happen I am afraid. The key thing is that a bad day is not a reflection on your care and devotion. Just keep doing your best, okay ?! But you need some support and coming here is a good move on your part. We are all experiencing challenges. None of us are experts and have all the answers, but we keep plugging away. We get cross sometimes, sad other times, and we need to allow ourselves to smile and laugh too.

Anyway, a very warm welcome to you. I'd better go now... my 87 year old Mum is nagging cause I've not put vegetables on yet !!!

Hi Rachie and welcome Image
Welcome to the forum Rachie. Caring for someone with dementia can be a difficult and bewildering experience but as the others have said, there's lots of information out there about it (there's even a specific thread about it here on the forum - scroll down to the specific disabilities and conditions section on the main page). Also lots of lovely people on this forum who are there to offer you a friendly ear and a jolly good laugh when you need one. We carers come in all shapes and sizes and are experiencing different circumstances but we all feel the same anguish, frustration, isolation, resentment and guilt at times so you're not alone. If you need to offload, this is the place to do it! Image
Hi Rachie,
Warm welcome, you have a lot to deal with. Dementia is a very hard illness to
watch with a loved one. Just remember you are human, and are doing your best.
Take care
Minnie Image
Hiya and a warm welcome off me too Image Image
Hi and welcome.Hope you find the Forum useful and fun. Image Image Image Image