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Finding things hard :( - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

Finding things hard :(

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hi kayleigh

So sorry to hear your struggling at the moment. Why did the midwife tell you off?
Hi thanks for the reply. She told me off saying my appointment was made unnessasarily and i should only see them if i really have to. Im not a very stong person and am not one for putting my point across, i tend to just keep quiet as im quite nervous and shy. I have this problem quite a lot, it seems unless your one of them people who doesnt take no for an answer you dont get much help.
o. Surely she would have read your notes and knows your circumstances?? silly thing for the midwife to say....mums-to-be normally make these appointments because their concerned for their baby, and if your worried, its not unnecessary for you to want to see the midwife!!

You got so much going on at the moment with one thing and another. Your hormones are gonna be all over the place too.

Keep us posted kayleigh. xx

you need to contact social services and ask for respite care for your husband while your in the last weeks of pregnancy and after labor as well, that would mean the SS sending a carer to look after your oh but at least it would free up sometime for you to do other things that are also important.
its very important while pregnant not to be under too much stress or that could cause the baby problems or worse cause his/her death (miscarriage).
it looks to me like you're at a crossroads one road is your oh the other is your baby's health, while it doesnt mean after all the stress you went through your baby will be born with any problems the risk is there and you need to think if the baby was to be born with health problems can you then look after you oh with his problems your son and the new baby with his own health problems??
but i touch wood and pray to god that your baby will be born healthy and hope you consider this risk factors and get the help you need and should have

When I had counselling I couldn't actually say what I was feeling, it simply hurt too much. Instead, I did some "homework". I sat down at the laptop and wrote it all down, including the fact that I wanted to run away from my life because I just couldn't cope with it all any more. That was about Week 4. The counsellor was stunned, he hadn't realised that my outwardly cheerful manner was hiding something so serious. He was brilliant after that, it really made me feel heaps better. If you can't say it either, try putting it down on paper for your GP; give him time to read it and think about it; then see him afterwards. In fact, just writing your feelings down and reading them through may give you some indication what to do.
Kayleigh if you feel you can't tell your gp, then just copy what you've written here and give it to him/her because if you don't tell him/her what's going on you won't get the help you need. Same applies to the midwife. And social services.
However desperate your husband is to move you shouldn't even be considering it while you are having such a tough time with the pregnancy, you need all your strength for that. You also need to consider that if your partner does nothing to help you now, moving isn't likely to change that and you will have all the problems you have now, plus a new baby and minus the support you'll get from your friends and your parents.
You have to put what you need first.
So sorry about your situation, Kayleigh.
I think Myrtle's suggestion that you let your GP see what you've posted on here is an excellent one. He'd have to have a very hard heart not to be moved by what you've written Image
You are in my thoughts Kayleigh, I do hope you can find some peace with your situation very soon. Do what is best for you. You are a VIP, and never forget that. Best wishes RRB
Hi kayleigh

Hope your feeling a bit better today. Image
Hi everyone. Thank you so much for your replies and kind words Image really means a lot. Still no idea what to do but just having you all to speak to is helping so much. I know i shouldnt be moving now but if i told my partner i didnt want to he would be so angry, and he has had suicide attempts in the past and im scared it would bring back them feelings for him. He feels that this area is a lot of the problem and staying here he is trapped in the routine he is in. Its just so hard as im in the middle, i dont want to move but i want things to get better. I dont want to end up moving away from family, losing our house which is a lovely big house and affordable and move to a smaller very expensive house in a nice area (which is what he wants to do) for things to be the same. Im feeling a lot like i cant carry on much longer. I can feel myself shutting down, im so angry but just cant get any of it out, anything i have a problem with lately that i try and talk about ends up in an arguement. i often lie on the sofa alone and just sob my heart out about it all as thats all i can do. Im trying to stay strong for my son and baby but i dont know how much more i can take.