I'm not new and some of you may remember me I joined whilst I was caring for my Dad post stroke in 2003 we lost him in 2013 but sadly during his period at home Mum was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia (2007)...it hasn't been at all easy as Mum can be quite stroppy at times but we've managed to muddle through with her still living independent and me going every single day. However, she has had some sort of virus that has knocked her dementia for six and after three weeks of constant pressure I finally cracked and called the crisis team yesterday. I was an absolute blubbering idiot and they are sending someone out at 2pm today and I'm really scared anyone got any advice I just feel so helpless and unable to think at the moment Love J x
(((HUGS))) J.
You have always done your very best for mum, but clearly something is happening to mum that means at the moment, she needs full time care.
It sounds like you have become what I call a "Clapped Out Carer", you have given your all, done your very best for TOO long, so there is nothing left. The time has come for mum to have full time care.
You haven't failed, mum's needs have increased to the point where she needs a TEAM of carers. I suspect when she goes somewhere, they will be amazed that you coped with her for so long.
Pack a bag for mum with toiletries, nightdress, slippers etc. Be sure to name them. Tell the Crisis Team that you CANNOT DO THIS ANY MORE. Your own health is top priority now. Be kind to yourself.
I've been in the same situation as you, it's horrible, but the situation is not your fault and there is nothing to blame yourself for, or feel guilty about. It's not just mum getting older, but you too. I used to have endless energy, but now I just about get through the day and have an early night, or go to bed and watch TV. Caring for my son with LD for just a few days is utterly exhausting.