Hi there,
I've joined this forum in the hope that I might find people to talk to who are in a similar situation to me.
I'm a carer/supporter (depending on what she needs - varies from month to month) for my mum who has borderline personality disorder. She is currently on a 'detox' programme at a rehab centre because she is also a drug user (I'm told this is common for bpd sufferers). She's a codeine addict and recreational user of other illegal substances.
At the moment my job is house sitting and dog sitting - she has 5 dogs!! - and basically just waiting around to hear how she's doing. This scenario is not new to me... My mum was diagnosed over 10 years ago and has spent much of the last decade in and out of various psychiatric institutions. When she's really unwell she frequently attempts suicide, self harms and becomes psychotic. She struggles with hearing voices and paranoia.
I have a caring partner of 6 years who is very supportive. My sister occasionally steps in and helps with practical jobs... But there is no other family around to help and i don't have any emotional support from any family other than my partner who can't really understand what it's like to support a mother through this kind of mental illness because he's never been in the position.
I generally feel very isolated and alone when mum is ill. I have my own struggles with anxiety and depression and insomnia... Which all get particularly heightened when mum is ill. My usual, probably unhealthy, response is to isolate myself. I find I just don't have the energy to spend time with friends or even talk to friends at times like this. Social anxiety is one of the ways that my anxiety manifests generally... But I also think that when mum is ill I cut myself off because I just find it too hard to try to explain what is going on to friends who have no experience of this. Does any body else experience this??? I feel guilty for cutting friends out but at the same time just wish they'd leave me alone because I simply don't want to talk to them, I just want to get on with doing what's required of me as a carer/supporter of mum. Does anybody else have feelings like this????
Another reason I want to connect with people who have had similar experiences is that I also sometimes feel like I don't know if I'm reacting proportionately/ 'correctly' to what's going on because I have no reference point - I've never known or seen anybody else care for a mum with a mental illness and so I can't compare the way I feel or relate it to anybody else's experience. I don't know if that will make sense to anybody -
But if it's a way of thinking that you relate to it would be reassuring to hear from you.
Basically id just really like to talk to someone who has supported/cared for/experienced a parent with a mental illness. I'd also really like to talk to anybody who relates to anything that I've said so please do reply to this post if you do.
I really hope I can turn to this forum if/when a crisis arises to ask for support and advice. I kind of wish I'd found it earlier - there have been so many times that I've felt so very alone dealing with this stuff.
Thanks and hope to hear from you.
I've joined this forum in the hope that I might find people to talk to who are in a similar situation to me.
I'm a carer/supporter (depending on what she needs - varies from month to month) for my mum who has borderline personality disorder. She is currently on a 'detox' programme at a rehab centre because she is also a drug user (I'm told this is common for bpd sufferers). She's a codeine addict and recreational user of other illegal substances.
At the moment my job is house sitting and dog sitting - she has 5 dogs!! - and basically just waiting around to hear how she's doing. This scenario is not new to me... My mum was diagnosed over 10 years ago and has spent much of the last decade in and out of various psychiatric institutions. When she's really unwell she frequently attempts suicide, self harms and becomes psychotic. She struggles with hearing voices and paranoia.
I have a caring partner of 6 years who is very supportive. My sister occasionally steps in and helps with practical jobs... But there is no other family around to help and i don't have any emotional support from any family other than my partner who can't really understand what it's like to support a mother through this kind of mental illness because he's never been in the position.
I generally feel very isolated and alone when mum is ill. I have my own struggles with anxiety and depression and insomnia... Which all get particularly heightened when mum is ill. My usual, probably unhealthy, response is to isolate myself. I find I just don't have the energy to spend time with friends or even talk to friends at times like this. Social anxiety is one of the ways that my anxiety manifests generally... But I also think that when mum is ill I cut myself off because I just find it too hard to try to explain what is going on to friends who have no experience of this. Does any body else experience this??? I feel guilty for cutting friends out but at the same time just wish they'd leave me alone because I simply don't want to talk to them, I just want to get on with doing what's required of me as a carer/supporter of mum. Does anybody else have feelings like this????
Another reason I want to connect with people who have had similar experiences is that I also sometimes feel like I don't know if I'm reacting proportionately/ 'correctly' to what's going on because I have no reference point - I've never known or seen anybody else care for a mum with a mental illness and so I can't compare the way I feel or relate it to anybody else's experience. I don't know if that will make sense to anybody -
But if it's a way of thinking that you relate to it would be reassuring to hear from you.
Basically id just really like to talk to someone who has supported/cared for/experienced a parent with a mental illness. I'd also really like to talk to anybody who relates to anything that I've said so please do reply to this post if you do.
I really hope I can turn to this forum if/when a crisis arises to ask for support and advice. I kind of wish I'd found it earlier - there have been so many times that I've felt so very alone dealing with this stuff.
Thanks and hope to hear from you.