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Dont know how much longer I can do all this! - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Dont know how much longer I can do all this!

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
The title of your post says it all. If your Health Visitor is kind and helpful, have a heart to heart talk about how you really feel, on your own if possible. It's all very well your husband refusing help, but he's got you. It's you that needs the help, not him. This scenario is all too familiar with me, both sets of parents were elderly and disabled, kept telling the doctors that my husband and I would do whatever was neccessary. We were never ever consulted about how we felt - we nicknamed ourselves the Thunderbirds, always ready at a moments notice to rescue them from the latest disaster (whilst also caring for a son with severe learning difficulties, running a business and a national club. Then I was ill, then I got cancer, and my husband died suddenly of a heart attack. Like it or not, you simply can't carry on like this. Someone must be made to realise how desperate you are.
Lady Tracy,

I suffer from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome similar to ME. I have found out that I alone must manage my condition and that others cannot solve the problem. They only help by allowing me to manage my condition and not expecting me to do anything energetic when I am unable. I know this is not always possible especially now I have become a carer but it is essential that I do find time for rest. Has your husband had further help after the diagnosis? I you live in the East Anglian area there is a great team based at the James Pagett hospital. If not perhaps your GP could refer your husband to a local team. If your husband could manage this part himself, than that would be one less problem for you to solve.

Hope this helps
Hi Lady Tracy,
You are in that special category of caring for more than one (me too but not so much as you..!) In an ideal world we should have double support as we care for more that one...in the real world we seem to get double grief. I am also questioning if I did the right thing going to ss as they seem to add streess instead of help...no easy solution I'm afraid Image
take care xx