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Desperate for Sleep - Carers UK Forum

Desperate for Sleep

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101 posts
hi, for the last week or so my mother is simply not sleeping ,, i'm getting about three hours a night and it's really hitting me hard now,,,

I asked my Mum's GP , I asked the Dementia Crisis Team and i Asked my mums social worker and no one helping me ...

How can i leverage the GP ? to help me more as i'm seriously concerned about my own health now ...

Still no funding s,as the Direct Payment funds have run out , promised it will renewed within the next four weeks.. however i be damned to put my mum in a home..any idea's would be most welcome,,, i can cope with her if the stupid so called professionals got their act together ....
Hi, I'm new to the forum myself so don't really have any advice for you but couldn't just read and run. I really hope you find some help and support and get some sleep too. Big hugs xx
Robin, sadly I'm not sure what to suggest, other than going to your GP tomorrow and insisting that 'something be done' ,even if it's a question of sleeping pills for your mother! I can understand you are reluatant to 'resort' to having her live in a care home, but would some respite care for her give you the break you desperately need.

It's impossible to function without sleep, and as I'm sure you know sleep deprivation for you is deangerous, and at some point the body will simply 'keel over'. If we are prevented from dreaming we have waking hallucinations. If residential respite is impossible, at least consider day care, where she is out of the house so you can then sleep, or, alternatively, having a carer in the house for several hours so that you can sleep.

Is your mother safe to leave, for example, in a room on her own, or would she injure herself do you think? Unfortunately, I believe there are laws (understandably!) against locking someone in a room, even if it is for their own safely. There is a 'deprivation of liberty' possibility, but I suspect this would need to be signed off by a doctor or official or some such.
hi Jenny, i been promised respite but like the funding when is it going to happening ?

the whole caring thing is a sham ,,, there is no help unless you can afford it ...

and leaving her ? no, it is against the law and i wouldn't be able to relax... the services don't value my life at all..... i'm saving the taxpayer about £500 to £600 a week and i'm rewarded with the impression , it's my choice so get on with it !!
Robin, I've asked before, have you had a Social Services Needs Assessment done yet? A Carers Assessment? A NHS Continuing Care Assessment? These three are all needed so you and mum get the help you need. Once needs are properly assessed, then in the case of critical needs, they must be met. Either by providing residential care OR by using the same amount of money to provide care at home. You are going to end up very ill, and mum in a home in any case, if you don't get help. I'm having my own sleepless night, due to a dental problem!
Hi Robin,
Sleep deprivation is the worst and makes coping very hard. Your situation is dire. The others have offered you advice, I hope it works.

I think it's time to "throw your toys out the pram," and let everyone see how you have reached crisis point and if they don't act NOW your mother will need emergency accommodation. I know this sounds harsh, but you have nothing to lose. This should buy you some emergency payments for daycare or a few nights respite, no way will they want to take her into care permanently, if staying home is a feasible and cheaper option. At this rate you will become ill and unable to care for her anyway.

Have you tried your MP or a local councillor for support?

hi, regarding the following :

Social Services Needs Assessment done yet? , i have requested this...

A Carers Assessment? Social worker informs me that this has been carried out

A NHS Continuing Care Assessment? this has to be done by the GP ?

My action plan now is to take mum to the A&E every night she won't sleep , the distance is about 2 miles i can't afford taxi's etc so we going on a adapted two seater mobility scooter.. and i'm hoping someone will put the pressure on services somewhere, or raise a flag ...

my local MP Stephen Metcalfe caseworker is not interested..

Today I gave my mum a plate of hot food, cup of tea, a jug of water, put the TV on, she had access to the toilet and cold water and I slept for nearly fours hours..... that was lovely....
You need to shout louder to SSD. I've been dealing with them for 40 years and told you the quickest and easiest of sorting this, in the comfort of your own home. Why are you so determined to ignore my advice?
hi, i been shouting at them, they remark "saying that mums need will be met , you just have to wait ..."

have you dealt with Essex Social services ?
not even the dementia team can get in touch with them
Ring the office of the Director of Social Services and say you cannot go on without immediate help.
Ring the CCCG and ask to speak to the Continuing Healthcare team.

Menrtion words like duty of care, negligence, and Ombudsman.

I live in a different county, and believe me, my experiences if I wrote them all down would fill many books!
101 posts