Daughter with depression and suicidal thoughts

[Gorgia_1901]

Hi
My beautiful daughter of 26 has woken me at 4am crying and saying she wants to end it all. She’s had depression for many years but has refused AD and tried therapy once but she said that they’d told her there’s nothing they can do for her. She’s made some bad choices and has very low self esteem and is very negative. She has taken pills twice and immediately told me but I’m frightened that one day she’ll succeed. She told me tonight that her brother touched her when she was younger and I feel terrible for her and not sure how I’m going to deal with this. I’m begging her to try AD, and I’ve convinced her to see a therapist, she would like to go to a retreat but they all look so expensive, any advice would be appreciated. Thank you

[jenny lucas]

First off, how very frightening for you.

Second, I have to say I very much doubt any therapist actually said 'there's nothing I can do for you'....this has all the hallmarks of your daughter TELLING you that ....that is what she 'heard'....many with depression etc just look (and hope!) for an 'instant cure'....my nkiece tells her mum 'I ask and ask for help and they do not give it to me'....but what she 'wants' is a 'fix' not to have to do the hard work herself of 'self-healing' which is a long, effortful process.

Third, if she wont' see her GP, you go yourself, straight away, and tell them what the current situation is. Have you reported her attempted overdoses, what happened when she OD'd (did you call medical attention etc etc).

I know from my niece (older than your dautghter, and now more 'controlled' in her management of her chronic depresson) that the GP will first put her on ADs as that will 'stabilise' until she starts thereapy. They won't offertherapy until she's been on ADs for about six weeks.

ADs are the 'key'. They are NOT necessarily a life long option, if that is very undrestsndably what yoru daughter fears. bvut she needs to see them as a 'bridge over troubled water'. They get her to 'the other shore' a better place and then, as she starts to 'sefl heal via therapy and rebguild herself from the inside, she can come off the ADs. she should think of them as a crutch or a plaster for a broken leg - not a wheelchair she has to sit in for the rest of her life.

Finally, do you have any ideas of why she is as she is - I hear what you say about yor son, but again, that is something to 'explorre' in therapy. Also, please contact forums and support organisations for childhood sexual abuse so you and she can deal with this 'properly'. It may not be true, it may be...if it is true, it may be relatively 'harmless (eg, 'curiosity' by your son or whatever, even a 'teaase' ....BUT it might be serious, and if your son is therefore someone drawn to children/incesturous relationships, then HE needs help and support too (and, of course, prevention for any furture inceidencts....)

I wish you both well, but first off, the GP is the place to go - they are the 'gateway' to everything else. Sorry for inaccurate typing!











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[jenny lucas]

PS where did she get the pills for overdosing?? ADs she didn't take? Aspirin? What? etc etc/. Remove them from her reach. Does she live with you?

[Lizzie Carers UK]

Hi Gorgia, welcome to the forum.

I am so sorry to hear about your distressing circumstances. I can imagine this must be a particularly difficult time for you. As jenny lucas suggested, your daughter does need urgent help. Contacting your local GP and the Social Services would be a good place to start. For emotional support, you can also contact Samaritans. Samaritans is available round the clock, every single day of the year, for anyone who is struggling to cope. You can contact them for free on 116 123. You also might want to consider getting in touch with Victim Support. Victim Support provides confidential emotional and practical support. They have a free support line available 24 hours a day and can be contacted on 08 08 16 89 111.

Also, have you been in touch with any mental health organisations? Mind and Rethink Mental Illness provide a wealth of information and support to anyone affected by mental illness.

Furthermore, alongside supporting your daughter, it is also important that you get support for yourself as well. The organisations that I mentioned above may be able to support or they’ll signpost you to any relevant services that can help.

Once again, I am really sorry to hear about what you are going through. I hope you find the support you need both on this forum and elsewhere. Other forum members may have other suggestions too.

[nicholas_1612]

Sorry to hear about your situation. Re the Samaritans, there is a text number 07725 909090 where either of you can text if you feel unable to talk to someone and feel more at ease at texting. Wishing you all well

[rosemary]

Plenty good advice given above from other members/staff Gorgia.

If you don't already have it, ask GP for phone number for your local Crisis team for mental health. Hopefully nothing will happen and you wont need phone them, but always best to have other options available to you immediately, especially in circumstances like these. They will also take some of the pressure off yourself.

Our local Crisis team were a Godsend for my brother.

Rosemary

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