daughter refusing to consent to share information

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Just because YOU don't like anti depressants doesn't mean that they are no good for anyone.

I have been a carer for 40 years.

Most of the time my mental health is OK, but every so often something really gets to me, then I can't get any proper sleep. It's no fun going to sleep at midnight and waking up 10 minutes later.
The conventional advice for stress is to identify the cause of the stress and then take it out of your life in some way. What does that mean for me as a carer? Shoot my son? It's not his fault he was brain damaged at birth.
Social Services are a major thorn in my side, all I want is for them to do their jobs properly, but they consistently ignore the Care Act and they constantly try to side line me from M's care. Definitely like to shoot the messenger!
I don't like anti depressants, my GP has written in my medical notes that he has prescribed them to help me deal with the tensions caused by Social Services. He also suggested that if I went back to my counsellor, Helen, as she could help me deal with the stress. When I told her this, suggesting that she had a Magic Wand, she laughed. Her support for me has been invaluable, but sadly, she cannot work miracles.

I can recognise when I get depressed, and there is a place for anti depressants in my life, to help me relax and get some sleep. They are very much a "last resort" when I just cannot cope with all the frustration caused by a failing Social Care system.
At the moment my daughter cannot be prescribed antidepressants as she is actively self harming & has thoughts of suicide. I don’t know when or if she would be offered them, but feel that she may need them to help get out of the big black hole that she is currently in.
As you know she is not communicating with me, but does occasionally agree for the crisis team to give me updates. So I know she is alive and accessing some support which is so important
Sorry Hannah, my message was directed at Mizzchief, not you.
Your situation is surely every parent's worst nightmare.
Hannah
My message was for Mizzcheef too and I apologise for answering on your thread.
I really feel for you, it's a most heartbreaking situation you are suffering.
bowlingbun wrote:
Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:56 am
Just because YOU don't like anti depressants doesn't mean that they are no good for anyone.

I have been a carer for 40 years.

Most of the time my mental health is OK, but every so often something really gets to me, then I can't get any proper sleep. It's no fun going to sleep at midnight and waking up 10 minutes later.
The conventional advice for stress is to identify the cause of the stress and then take it out of your life in some way. What does that mean for me as a carer? Shoot my son? It's not his fault he was brain damaged at birth.
Social Services are a major thorn in my side, all I want is for them to do their jobs properly, but they consistently ignore the Care Act and they constantly try to side line me from M's care. Definitely like to shoot the messenger!
I don't like anti depressants, my GP has written in my medical notes that he has prescribed them to help me deal with the tensions caused by Social Services. He also suggested that if I went back to my counsellor, Helen, as she could help me deal with the stress. When I told her this, suggesting that she had a Magic Wand, she laughed. Her support for me has been invaluable, but sadly, she cannot work miracles.

I can recognise when I get depressed, and there is a place for anti depressants in my life, to help me relax and get some sleep. They are very much a "last resort" when I just cannot cope with all the frustration caused by a failing Social Care system.
What nonsense being told to take the stress out of your life. That isn't possible as far as I've learned. It's how to pin point the emotional trigger that is so debilitating - which isn't always the obvious thing weirdly - and reduce our emotional and often physical response to it, not remove it. I've not explained that very well.
When I got to the root cause of some of my issues, and worked through them, I stopped drinking within 6 months. The emotional impact of the trigger had been reduced, I didn't want to open a bottle. Unbelievable because I told the fella on day one I doubted his techniques would NOT work.
I had to pay for therapy because the system failed me so many times over 20 odd year, I don't trust it anymore.
How do you manage to only take antidepressants occasionally? I have to have one a day or I get huge emotional swings. I wonder if the menopause (nearly 60) has anything to do with it also.
Have you tried St. Johns Wort (NOT to be taken in conjunction with anti depressants EVER)? I can't get off my medication long enough to try it. Told it works wonders. Never tried that cannabis oil, don't know enough about it yet.
Social Services are a law unto themselves, totally unaccountable it seems to me and frankly so badly run I'm amazed it hasn't imploded. All they say is a the same apology to everyone for mistakes made, and they will take lessons for the unfortunate incidents to ensure the same won't happen in the future. How insulting and degrading for the family who has battled endlessly to get their help. I didn't mean to upset you regarding the anti depressants, but after discussions with others and researching more deeply, I would look to more proven natural methods first if possible. I know the virtual insomnia game, and I'm in nothing like your shoes. I can't imagine your turmoil. Your signature is bang on Information or knowledge is power - damn right. The system doesn't care too much when you can discuss on their level about the rules, eh? they get a bit defensive. Have you ever asked to voice record a meeting with them? That's a bit of fun.
You are pretty awesome by the way.
Pet66 wrote:
Sun Aug 11, 2019 10:41 pm
Mizzcheef
My circumstances are very different to yours. Recently lost my lovely husband. Dementia, strokes low potassium and severe bowel problems. I haven't felt the need for antidepressants, but many relatives of residents in the nursing home my hubby was in really were helped very much with antidepressants. I understand you feel strongly that they shouldn't be prescribed to a person with suicidal thoughts, but they are not evil to everyone. A very good friend of mine was saved because of them.
It's not the taking of them, it's trying to get off them. The side effects can be crippling. Also, I wonder how deeply a G.P looks into each type of anti depressant to best suit a patient. They prescribe the one they get paid most for I believe. When I changed doctors I was given a totally different brand, more than once. Your friend was obviously looked after, as it should be. I do agree they can help reduce suicidal thoughts, personally, I just wish I had been told all the options available before I was prescribed them day one. I would have tried St. Johns Wort as I explained to bowlingbun, but too late now. So I can't say if it would have been better. Certainly no side effects when not taken at least.
SORRY Hannah looks like I've done the same, wrong thread.

You are not a pushy mum, you are brilliant. She agreed to let you have some info, great. I'm glad they haven't gone the anti depressant route straight away, looking a her needs individually, a good team. I hope you are still eating and looking after you. I can't imagine being a mum, you are all doing the hardest and greatest job in the world, I'm truly in awe. I was too scared I think. As I said to bowlingbun, you are awesome by the way x
After my husband died, I had almost no sleep for two months, regularly doing accounts at 3am! I realised that I didn't WANT sleeping tablets, but my body was utterly exhausted.
I had Amitryptilene, when things got easier I cut them in half with a pill cutter, then half again. They key was being very aware of my responses to things, and my own feelings.
More recently, I've had many battles with Social Services, my GP is similarly frustrated with them. He gave me Sertraline, which helped me relax and be less frustrated, so I slept better (there is clearly a link between the stress I'm feeling, and the inability to switch off and go to sleep). I took those for a few weeks but can't take them if I have to be up and about early in the day. As I'm having lots of work done on the house at the moment, I can't take the pills.
I'm now just a part time carer, the one thing that really helps me is knowing that in a few weeks I will be in Greece, Island Hopping with a girl friend, free as a bird.
Late evening, before I go to sleep, I work on my suitcase list, or our itinerary, look at various Facebook sites dealing with our islands etc. This works better than any tablet!!!
50 weeks of my year I'm devoted to my family. The other two are mine, non negotiable.