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Carers UK Forum • dating for carers
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dating for carers

Posted: Sun May 31, 2020 8:53 pm
by Charlene_2001
Hi guys, was just wondering what everyone's views are on dating as a carer? Is it even viable, how do you find the time. would you consider dating sites?

Re: dating for carers

Posted: Sun May 31, 2020 10:12 pm
by Cloudygal
Hi Charlene

I guess that would totally depend on the amount of caring someone is doing unless they met someone who was very willing to be part of the carees life as well.

If I didn't have my hubby around and I was single for me it would be out of the question.

Don't have any time for my hubby as it is...so there would not be any hope for anyone else.

Would I consider a dating site. Absolutely...don't think hubby would be best pleased though!

Re: dating for carers

Posted: Mon Jun 01, 2020 3:43 pm
by Charlene_2001
Cloudygal 😂 I know what you mean about not having time for your husband as I never did mine hence me being single. He wasn't very understanding of why I was always tired or why I couldn't free up more time for him or to go out! I feel like I would only get a connection where I didn't have to constantly explain myself with another carer in the same situation if that makes sense

Re: dating for carers

Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2020 12:42 pm
by Louisa _2006
Hello, new member Louisa, time management I guess. I met someone recently we went out for afternoon, he said after an hour or so, I hope your mother is alright on her own. I was taken aback by this, then I worried, I hoped she was alright on her own, she was alright. I enjoyed my date and time out though...

Edited to remove members full name.

Re: dating for carers

Posted: Fri Jun 04, 2021 3:27 pm
by Keith_2106
Hi guys, just found this site/forum while looking online for help on this exact subject. I’m 42, I had several back operation when I was 21 which left me bed bound for 8 years and on morphine pain medication for the rest of my life. A year later my mum had a stroke, I was looking after her. My father got cancer and has had several operations and is holding his own. Then just as the lockdown started she had another stroke and a brain bleed. She came home a few weeks ago and it’s so hard looking after her and my father, they are bother adamant they don’t want any outside care they just want me to look after them. I’m happy to do it, family always comes first for me. But the hard part is being single and feeling alone. 42 and living with my parents isn’t exactly something woman are looking for in a man. As Soppy as it sounds I have so much love to give and just want a good woman to share my life with. But I cant find one because I never get to go out, I’ve tried a few dating sites but soon as they find out my age and I’m living at home they don’t want to know. It’s so hard being on my own in the nights. I’d give anything to find someone to share my life with. Started to think I’m just going to be alone for life and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Re: dating for carers

Posted: Fri Jun 04, 2021 8:49 pm
by ontheverge
I will jump in and say I wouldn't mind meeting someone either but I just don't know how it would work. Also, would someone really want to date someone who has 3 carees and very very little free time? I don't think so.

Everyone at work is always saying "oooh you're such a lovely guy", "I can't believe you are single", "get yourself out there", blah blah blah. God knows where I would get time to do all of that. I've also realised most of my confidence has gone with caring. It's like being the male version of Cinderella with no escape!

Pre lockdown, once a month or once every two months I would spend a night in a hotel - sometimes posh glamorous ones, sometimes basic budget ones. It was just one night but I always felt terrible for leaving the others at home and was constantly worried in case something happened. It never did but that never stopped me worrying.

Just thought I would shove my twopence worth in.

Re: dating for carers

Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2021 11:07 am
by Andrew_21081
Hi, new member Andy here. So pleased to find someone posing questions about dating for carers, it's something I've struggled with for years now and seems to be a taboo subject in some respects, as ridiculous as that sounds. I guess isolation and lack of a social life makes it feel like an impossible dream, to actually meet a lady to share my day to day feelings with, someone to share both emotional and physical intimacy, and to feel that special connection with.
Anyway, I'm rambling now 🤣 just wanted to say how great it was to see something with 'carer' and 'dating' in the same conversation......it makes me feel almost human again 😂 Cheers everyone!

Andy, 43, Nottingham, single.

Re: dating for carers

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2021 2:05 pm
by BigSister
Hiya. I think it's pretty hard at the best of times but over the pandemic moreso. A friend suggested online speed dating which sounds pretty good (at least to meet new people to start with). Takes about an hour, do it from home and don't have to wear heels (bonus! lol).

Re: dating for carers

Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2021 10:31 pm
by Jackie_2008
Try Meetup. It's a platform for social groups to meet people in your area who like to do what you like to do.Not intended to be a dating site but a way to make friends and socialise when it suits you. I've taken my mum to some events as, although she's disabled and nearly blind, there's nothing wrong with her mind and she loves to go out. She has been welcomed and felt 'normal'!

Re: dating for carers

Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2021 11:43 am
by SAMANTHA_210812
I get where you are coming from, I feel guilty for wanting to find someone and heartbroken I can not share me with anyone else :(