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Complicated life. - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Complicated life.

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Why are you trying to buy the house? Who will inherit it under the terms of the will?
Suzanne, if you think dad is near the end, then Google "Signs of Dying". I did this when my mum was in a nursing home, going downhill fast. You will find good articles written by people who have worked in hospices.
Realistically, if that is the case, it's too late to buy the house.

When I was snowed under, I found it helped to write down everything that was bothering me, and put it in order - easier on the computer. Then shuffle it into priority order.
Sorting out who is going to manage dad's funeral arrangements should be top of your "to do" list right now. Who will you use? Who needs to know? What music? I know it's hard, but even harder just after a death.
You need someone to support you. Under the Care Act, you and your sister are both entitled to an advocate. Ask Social Services to arrange this urgently for you. I have one now, and so does my disabled son, it really helps to go to meetings with Social Services with someone else on your side, not theirs!
I don't know much about the legalities of caring for a child that is not your own, however, I Googled "Kinship Carers" and apparently there are allowances available up to £179 a week! I didn't have time to read everything.

Can I ask what sort of work you do, and could you go part time? Your employer has a duty to make "reasonable adjustments" for you as you are caring for someone with a disability, "Disabled by Association".


You are under so much pressure at the moment, the more you fell in control, the easier it will be (at one time I had five relatives at the same time all entitled to highest disability benefits).
Counselling helped me set my priorities. Son with LD came first. Mum could speak up for herself, he couldn't. Your parents are nearing the end of their lives, but can speak for themselves. Your must focus most on the innocent victim of all this, your sister. Make this clear to both parents, they won't like it, but you simply can't be all things to everyone. If they refuse carers, then you cannot fill in that gap. Their choice, but also their responsibility to live with the consequences.

Come back here whenever you want, there is a long journey ahead, and next year is going to be tough. Many of us her have lost at least one parent, feel free to ask whatever you like.
I don't know much about the legalities of caring for a child that is not your own, however, I Googled "Kinship Carers" and apparently there are allowances available up to £179 a week! I didn't have time to read everything.


The link to the KINSHIP CARERS thread posted earlier ... one of the links off of that will provide some insight as to what is available for a potential kinship carer ... different ball game when compared with a family carer.

Also , another link to the whole issue of " Guardianship " ... which is a specialised field , normally beyond the understanding of front line social workers on most manors.

For kinship carers , knowing that they ARE a kinship carer is half the problem !

That " Problem " is one of the reasons why I started the main thread in the first place !!!