Communicating with carers in a similar situation

[Elizabeth McLean]

Hello, my husband has been in ill health for many years now which has worsened over the past few months due to further issues arising. I also work full time and have always managed to cope with everything,as I am fortunate in that I enjoy good health myself. However, his most recent health issues and hospital admission have been very worrying and I am at present off work as I am suffering from stress and exhaustion. My husband is now at home where I am caring for him. I have friends but find I have no time to keep in touch as I am fully focused on the issues. I love my husband very much and am fully committed to looking after him, but I sometimes feel quite isolated. I am hoping to return to my job as a sheltered housing warden as soon as things settle down but am not sure when this will be.I am 59 years old and my husband is 69. I would love to hear from someone who is in a similar situation and any advice on how they cope would be most welcome. Thank you.

Liz

[Violet]

Hi Elizabeth - I also am a full time carer - my husband is now housebound which means that I cannot get out to the activities I used to enjoy and therefore very isolated. I try to get out every day for a walk, like Sussex approx half an hour, which also includes some shopping - it makes my day if I happen to meet anyone with whom I can have a wee chat.

I find internet very helpful although I haven't joined Twitter or Facebook - not sure how all that works but this forum is a great help.

Warm welcome to you

[weemocass]

Hi Elizabeth, I care for my husband and found that talking to other carers at my local carers centre to be the best thing ever for me. I agree that its good to get out for a while every day, even for a short walk. Exercise and meditation work for me, but it took me years to realise that, and wish there had been someone to tell me what to do a long time ago.Please look at my post on Positive Affirmations in Tips for Caring, they should help.Take care x

[Bluebird]

Hi Liz and welcome

I am housebound looking after my Mum and am very isolated but happy. This forum is wonderful for making virtual friends and sometimes 'real' ones

[crocus]

Hi
I care for my husband and used to work full-time, but found it too stressful, so now I work part-time which means that I can still give hubby enough time and also I find work makes me less isolated. Is this something that would be possible for you, or do you need to care full-time now?

[bowlingbun]

Hi,
I just wondered if you are getting any help at all? As a warden yourself, you obviously understand the needs of the elderly and/or disable - but can't be both at home and at work at the same time! Before discharge, did anyone discuss a care package with you? Did you have a Carer's assessment?

[Elizabeth McLean]

A big thank you to everyone who responded and for making me feel so welcome. I am so glad I joined the forum. I also find that exercise helps and am keen on walking and swimming. I managed to get a swimming session in yesterday morning which was the first for a while and plan to try to fit this in on a regular basis at my local leisure centre. In the past I was also keen on yoga but had to give up the class due to work commitments and things at home. On my husbands discharge, a care package wasn't discussed as I am at home at present to care for him. My normal routine when working, starts with his breakfast and meds and preparing something for lunch prior to leaving for work. He can usually manage at home until my return and seems happy to do so. He also has a friend who at times takes him out for a drive a couple of times a week which passes the time for him. My place of work is not far from my home and I can be reached by phone if there is a concern. I also use annual leave days to accompany my husband to his hospital appointments to his cardiologist and rheumatologist. This routine has worked well, however, the most recent issues have taken a lot out of him and our situation may have to be reassessed depending on developments. Taking it one day at a time.Thank you once again for your response. Apologies for the length of my post as I am new to this and have gone on a bit.

[bowlingbun]

His care needs, and a carers assessment, should still have been done before discharge, even if you were going to be at home. It's so disappointing to read here how many times it just doesn't happen.

[Busymiss]

Hello there Elizabeth, I look after my dad who had a stroke 3 years ago. He is disabled and has anxiety issues amongst other things, he gets about trotting about with his frame and stick .....I too work full time. We have carers going in twice a day, and someone comes to give him a bath on saturdays. We also have a helpline installed, where he wears a fob round his neck in case he needs it if he takes unwell. Do you not have social services on board? This is what they should be setting up? It does work in the main! I am only 10 mins away from my place of work too. I am lucky I have good employers. I am always taking him to numerous hospital/ doctors appointments. (I say we....I look after him by myself mostly....My sis lives 200 miles away and comes up when she can, but it is always a joint effort regarding care issues. ) Hope this helps. there are people out there. xx

[weemocass]

Hi Elizabeth, I think exercise is great too. I like to walk, and go to a local class to do aerobics and circuit training.I also love Tai Chi, its very relaxing and exercises the whole body and best bit is you can do this at home without any props etc.Taking a break from walking just now right enough as I have sore feet but hope to be better soon.