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Help New member caring for parents NEEDS Advice - Carers UK Forum

Help New member caring for parents NEEDS Advice

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
I am a professional male who has been caring for my elderley parents
for the past 4 years.
It has been quite a struggle but I have kept on going
Juggling work, other family commitments and demands from my parents

who suffer from Dementia, Alzheimers and other medical conditions
I would like to contact other carers who are in similar situation

Finding it difficult in persuading my partner that I must look after my parents
after all they looked after me as a child and it is my obligation?
Yes I know they could be a handful but so was I has a child. Why is it so
hard to convince other loved ones ?
Hi Phillip,

Welcome to the forum.

I am sorry to say I cant advise on how to convince others that what you are doing is right as I was and still am very fortunate to have a very supporting partner.Without him I could not have coped as long.Maybe other members here can help you with that angle.

However,depending on your circumstances and that of your parents it may be possible to get some help,if that was acceptable to them.

http://www.carersuk.org/Information/Fin ... CarersLine

freephone number is 0808 808 7777

we are open on Wednesday and Thursday 10am -12pm and 2pm - 4pm

If you could get some support, it may give you more time with your family.Have you or your parents ever been assessed to get help?

Think about giving the helpline a call.With more information from yourself they may be able to advise on a course of action to take.

In the meantime keep posting here if you want.So many can listen and understand.

x x x
hello phillip

welcome to the forum Image

hello phillip

welcome to the forum Image

Thank you
hi Phillip

Welcome to the forum - I care for my 85 year old Mother who has Alzheimers and a number of other problems. Whilst I freely admit that I do not like being in this situation, like many others I do what I have to do. My main problem is getting other relatives to help - I'm retired so they think I have all the time in the world and that my life is the one that should be put on hold.

Elsewhere on this site is mention of a book called 'The Selfish Pig's Guide to Caring' by Hugh Marriott (available on Amazon if you can't find it in a local bookshop and highly recommended by all carers who have read it). It's well worthwhile reading as it helps to put your feelings into perspective. In the meantime feel free to rant on here, we've all been there, done that and most have the T-shirt to prove it.

best wishes
Hi Phillip,

I'm afraid there is no answer to convincing your partner about your caring, only people in the same situation as you understand why you are caring for your parents. I had to give up work to look after my Mum who has severe Vascular Dementia and all my family are quite happy for me to do it and don't help me in anyway at all - because they don't understand.
Keep posting on here, there are lots of friendly people to support you even if your partner doesn't.
Bluebird Image
Hello Phillip,
Nearly all my family dont understand what makes us Carers care so much. I guess were just kind hearted, giving people really.
My wife suffers with Vascular Dementia amongst other things and depression all her life. Not easy to live with!! Image
I do hope your partener will eventually understand, though I do know how they feel. Lifes too short to devote so much time on others, when theres a whole world out there to explore.
Its never going to be an easy one I'm afraid. They want you all to themselves and who can blame them.

Pete Image
Hi Phillip nice to meet you and welcome to the forum Image