Caring when you are being cared for?

[Rakshauk]

I have Borderline Personality Disorder, until recently, my partner was my carer, making sure I got up, dressed and showered, ate and drank regularly when I was down and helped me manage my emotions. He would also escort me to unfamiliar places and help me go shopping or out for a coffee.

Over the past 5 years, he's suffered from crippling muscoskeletal pain in his left knee and hip. He is in constant pain which means he struggles to get around the house, his GP can't prescribe any stronger pain relief than he is on already. He's worked 2 days in the past 2 months because he works in a huge building and physically can't walk from his disabled space to his desk.

I'm very worried about the future. We have two teenage sons who help where they can, one is in college full time, the other has just left college after just 3 months and is currently NEET. If OH looses his job, we won't be able to afford the mortgage and our family also consists of 2 dogs who are just as important to me as the children....

[minimum14]

Hi - perhaps some forward planning would help, just in case? I think you need to check out what your situation would be if your partner could no longer work? As everyone's situation's different I would contact CAB, for example so you can get a better picture of what you may be entitled to, It may also be worthwhile contacting social services, just to discuss what they could offer if need be.

[Dancedintherain]

Welcome here.

I think you have already had some excellent advice.

chat about dogs anytime you want. many dog lovers on board here, me included.

[Scally]

I have great sympathy with your predicament, but caring as much about your dogs as children strikes me as somewhat weird.

[bowlingbun]

Perhaps you should both sit down with a piece of paper and work out your priorities for the future? Your children need to have parents who are in the best possible situation, rather than stressed out ill and worrying. Your husband needs his knee sorting out - finding out what is causing the pain, and what can be done about it. If he can't walk to his desk, he needs to work nearer the door, or get a small mobility scooter. You need to consider what outside help you can get, so your husband can work without worrying about you. Yes, I know you would rather it was him, but if you don't let him work, or he can't work, then you will need to move into rented accommodation - either before or after the house is repossessed. What other option can there be? Are you sure you are both getting all the benefits you are entitled to? Carers UK has a brilliant helpline. Why not give them a ring to find out if any more help is available?

[Rakshauk]

Many thanks for all the responses.

Frankly im not bothered whether somebody thinks it's weird to love animals as much as family, its how I've been raised.

[jenny lucas]

I think that it's because our pets/animals are so completely dependent on us, that we HAVE to love them - we are responsible for having them, and so we are responsible for looking after them.

[Scally]

I like animals too, but if push came to shove I would find them another good home. There are only so many calories in a Mars Bar, you know, however thin you slice it.