Introducing myself

[Margaret]

Hi my name is Margaret and I am a carer for my husband who has kidney failure and is on dialysis 3 days a week, also he has chronic heart condition and is on the 24/7 heart monitor linked up to our local hospital, it is a godsend as any glitch with his heart and the hospital know straight away and ring me.
I have been his carer for the last 7 years, have a wonderful family a son and daughter, but I don't like to bother them as they have a busy life to lead, and the old saying I don't want to be a bother. Hubby also has claudication of the legs so can't walk far, but fortunately I drive.
I have angina and chronic osteoarthritis and am waiting to go into hospital in the near future for a umbical hernia op ,I'm worried how long I will be in and how my hubby will manage without me, he has good and bad day's. I have the carers emergency pack to call upon, hubby say's he will be fine' and of cause the family will pop in as/when, but has anyone been in a similar position? I am so worried about things and try to hide it but sometimes, as now feel thing's are overwhelming me.

[charles47]

Hi Margaret and welcome.

Most people would think they had more than enough to deal with over their own health, and there you are caring as well!

I'm a carer, and until recently my Mum had been a carer for over 50 years. She needed two knee replacements but put them off for a couple of years. Eventually, she had one done, but she felt guilty about letting us look after Dad, so she put off the second op. Dad died two years ago and she went back to the doctor, and they found a heart problem so now she's a poor risk for the op and stuck with a seriously dodgy knee.

So my own advice would be to make the arrangements you need to make and have the op.

[bowlingbun]

Having had major abdominal surgery, you MUST ensure that there is adequate care for your husband...and you as well. Otherwise there is no point in having the operation. First stop Social Services for an updated Carers Assessment for you.

[JHR57]

Welcome Hazel, I care for an elderly Mum with dementia and previously a post stroke Dad but my goodness I haven't got as much as you have on your plate only slight problem I have is I have a slight prolapse of the womb which is being monitored ny the Docs and eventually I will neeed a hysterectomy and like yourself that worries me so much in that who will look after Mum in my recovery period ( I won't be able to drive, so they tell me, for at least 6 weeks) but as with everything else I try to keep everything on a day by day basis I find I can cope better that way rather than projecting the bigger picture I do hope the forum helps you it has certainly helped me especially in times of intense stress the folk here understand more than the folk on the streets who don't have a caring role xxxxxx

[Regina64]

I can understand how worried you are. It will be difficult to trust others to take over for the time you need to heal.
But you have to take care of yourself. Firstly because you are important too, not only the person you care for.
Try to think of the airplane situation. If oxygen is needed you tend to yourself first and then help others. How will you help anyone if you faint without that oxygen.
Take care

[Margaret]

Hi Charles

Thank you for welcoming me and your word's of advice, I will take heed, and do hope your mum has had her knee's sorted, I had mine done, just the one and now 12 yrs down the line am so glad I did. Think I was at a low ebb last night when I wrote, today's sunny and hubby had a better night so I have cheered up this morning & have decided to have the op. Thank you again for your reply to me xxx it's lovely to know there are caring lovely people out there. God Bless

[bowlingbun]

Having had a hysterectomy, it is absolutely vital that you follow instructions properly, or you will be in deep trouble. Comments like "don't lift anything over 2lbs" for example. It's not just an instruction, simple things like lifting a kettlereally hurts. You must allow time for the healing process. I was told that after 6 months the scar tissue is stronger than the normal tissue, but during that time, it's vital to look after yourself. Usually, hospitals will only discharge someone after a short period (only 5 days after I had a kidney removed) if there is someone else to look after you for at least a couple of weeks, so no cooking, cleaning for you!