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Caring is Indeed Rewarding ! - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

Caring is Indeed Rewarding !

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
I always find hope for the best, prepare for the worst and make the most of what each day brings works for me............well, most of the time.
Sajahar - you are sounding utterly overwhelmed and I am so sorry that all of the situation is just imploding upon you as it is. Sometimes it's impossible to be positive and uplifted and determined and resolute.....

You are NOT being a 'misery guts' - you are crying out with the awfulness that life can heap upon us, and yes, worse things do happen to others, God knows they do, and there are so, so many things we are spared that others are not in the hideous places of this sad, sad world, but even knowing that cannot 'cure' what is happening to those near to us, whom we have to witness suffer.


If I say I wish you a 'speedy release' for your parents from their suffering, I hope it doesn't mean that I am being callous and thinking 'only of you', as I cannot see that what they are enduring is something that any soul would want them to continue to endure. When I watched my husband dying, I knew that I HAD to want to 'let him go' as his body and brain had become his prison.....it would have been selfish of me to want to cling on to him. And that is why I feel I can freely say that, at this stage perhaps for your parents, if 'recovery' is not a medical option, alas, then 'release' must be their only escape.

I am so sorry, too, to hear about your cat - I hope it can comfort you to think of the 'good life' I'm sure s/he's had with you. And the comfort, too, to know that your cat, at least, can be painlessly eased through their ordeal......that is one mercy it is within your power to bestow, when that time comes. (I'm not sure where you stand on 'Faith', but to me, heaven will not be heaven without our pets! I hope you might think so too....)

With kind thoughts to you at such an overwhelming time for you - Jenny
So sorry, I didn't see you were quoting Vix! In which case, Vix, please read the above as being to you.....so sorry to hear things are so hellish for you right now....

Kindest wishes possible, Jenny.
Hi Jenny, yes, I missed the quote first time of reading as well and wondered how to do them here. You need to wrap the quote into the little bubble box in the menu option,
Hang on its like this.
Actually, I am not overwhelmed. But I am becoming overwhelmed by the society we are becoming. So I am becoming overwhelmed then!

But I will not go quietly into that still dark night; if that's what so-called 'positivity' leads us to...then stuff positivity!
I have no idea if I did the right thing by letting Rip off Britain film us? But if just one person is helped then job done.
They did not want to expose the power companies for the rip off robber baron thieves they actually are... but I'll do that anyway.... do not watch this space!
I suppose keeping a diary can be a useful aid at times, I tried it myself for a while but when my sister left me to cope alone my entries became incredibly bitter. So I abandoned the diary and just got on with things, I dare say if she ever read it it'd break her heart. Perhaps it'll be time to delete it soon, just not yet.

I tend to agree with sajehar, our leaders use our positivity, love and kindness against us. They are more than happy for us to sacrifice our lives providing cheap quality care as it saves them the expense. Its hard not to despair when society holds carers in such low regard. I always hated filling in the census form (I actually didn't this time) because recording my occupation as a carer filled me with shame.

People on this board support one another and that is a wonderful thing but wider society doesn't want to know. Its happy to see our plight and misery quietly brushed under the carpet.

David
I am new to being a fulltime carer - but I certainly wouldn't describe it as being rewarding. And or did I expect it to be. I am being a carer for my dad's benefit not mine. I am a great believer in positive thinking - but for me that doesn't mean ignoring the fact that sometimes life isn't fair, and that sometimes it hurts and is very painful. At the moment I can't see how anyone could describe mine ( and many other people's ) caring situations as rewarding - to be honest it seems slightly patronising to me. To help me try and stay balanced, and not focus solely on the negative bits of my life I have started to participate in the 100happydays challenge - not because i expect to have 100 happy days at the moment, but because if I don't make an effort to concentrate on the little things that make me happy each day, they will be more negative than I can cope with. I agree with Sajehar - the focus on the power of positive thinking can make it seem like its our fault if we are negative, sad, angry etc. There are many things that cannot be changed by positive thinking, but looking for that small bit of positivity or happiness can stop us feeling so overwhelmed.
Sometime back we had a topic

"Today I am grateful for............."

have a look here
http://www.carersuk.org/forum?view=topi ... mitstart=0

it's all the silly, little things that lift our day :)

Plus we have a "Positive ways to cope with low mood" topic here:

http://www.carersuk.org/forum?view=topi ... 1&id=32767
I remember the first day that my father spent in daycare, I'd not been to bed in 3 days, catching the odd half hour when my mind and body gave out. But that day there was no way on earth I was going to bed, I roped my sister into going to the movies followed by dragging her for a carvery. She says that I was like a man possessed, grinning like a lunatic and determined to enjoy myself. Now that was positive thinking; if caring has taught me anything it is to grab every minute of enjoyment you can, no matter how small.

David
David,I agree. Right now, my 90 year old MIL is (at least for now!) not with me, and BOY am I enjoying something as simple as sitting by the telly, feet up, with nothing more to do than cook my own supper, keep my own company, watch the telly I want, have a glass of wine and then head for bed.

Bliss.

Guess we don't know what we've got - until we don't have it......

(None of us want our carees to suffer or have a grim time, but to avoid that requires our sacrifice of our own freedom - though yes, for some it is not a sacrifice, I do acknowledge that.)