Caring is Indeed Rewarding !

[rosemary]

I don't think I would use the word 'rewarding'. With the people I have cared for over the years I have still been a wife, daughter, sister, niece first.
However, I would say it has helped shape who I am, how I have developed over the years.

x x

[Melly1]

When it's running smoothly caring has it's rewarding moments. However, it can also be exhausting, challenging and difficult.

How long have you been caring for Riyad? Are you a full time carer?

Melly1

[Riyad]

Rosemary, our personal circumstances, individual thoughts, events and experience shape the way we look at caring. Stress, anxiety, social isolation and deprivation also contribute to our developed attitude towards it. Thinking caring as rewarding is an individual way of developing positive attitude towards this altruistic role.

A mother’s sacrifice for her newborn makes her who she is by offering heavenly taste of motherhood whereas a homebound young man dreaming to win the world and having full understanding about the selflessness nature of caring may think of it as rewarding. It is a way of thinking positive.

I wish you every success in your caring role.

[Riyad]

Its been over 5 years melly1. Yes, I am.

[Riyad]

Thank you koala.

[Sajehar]

Hi Riyad

Personally, I think positive thinking is a wonderful thing, but it is vastly overrated, and has been co-opted as a means to beat people with.
That is, if you somehow don’t find fulfillment in caring, then there is something wrong with you.
Worse, if you do find fulfillment, but the structures aren’t in place to help you (the sign of a civilised society) then it’s somehow doubly your fault.

I think you have romanticised caring, and if that works for you then fine. But there are others who face far greater pressures. To expect them to feel the same as you or I is downright disingenuous.

I refer you to Vis. How will your positive thinking help her?

I am new to this group, and am joining it at an all time low......I care full time for my disabled parents aged 89...........at present they are both in hospital.......Dad is off his legs again, still messing himself (which is a regular thing) and is all but oblivious to what is going on around him.......Mum has had a 2nd heart attack and just sits in bed, wetting herself, refusing to eat and doesn't remember anything for longer than 20 seconds. There is already talk of discharge, but there is no way I can cope with them both in this state, and I hate seeing them like it. If either of them was a cat or a dog, they would have been put out of their misery ages ago......but with people, they keep them alive to exist (not live) regardless of quality of life. To add to it all, my cat is dying, the weather is vile and I can't get the dog out for a decent walk.......I am so depressed and tears are constantly lurking in the background........I have hit the bottle already today in a feeble attempt to numb my pain. Sorry to be such a misery guts, but I'm just telling it how it is.

That’s who my heart goes out to… fat lot of good that will do her/him.

[Riyad]

Sajehar, thank you for your comment and I do understand your pain. You will note that I have written 'Individual Way' of thinking which may not be the case for everyone nor I expect everyone to feel the same. Our feelings will depend on the situation we go through. In fact, I also go through sleepless nights.
I wish your parents speedy recovery.

[Sajehar]

So what was your 'Speedy recovery.'

I don't think they exist. My mother is about to die, not unexpected at her age. But we've been feed such a lie I feel like screaming.

[Riyad]

Sajehar, I am feeling bad for your situation. Honestly, I am feeling bad. Look, I am stuck at home as well because I can't leave my granny all alone at home because she is even unable to standup today without help. You are not alone and there are people to understand your pain.

I wish that everything will go well for you.

[Scally]

Riyad has touched on a recurrent theme here: the way we approach our role as (involuntary!) carers. Few of us would choose to see our loved one suffer, but few of us would wish to turn our back on them in their hour of need. We are all a bit selfish sometimes, and that isnt a bad thing for our sanity and to maintain a sense of personal purpose and hope that things will get better, but mostly we are an altruistic bunch of folk, doing our best for what is right. So, why not at least try to approach every day like Mary Poppins with a whistle and a smile - if it makes us feel better, then that is all for the good, isn't it ? And there is always someone far worse off, looking at the 'News' .