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Caring for self-harming suicidal daughter -Carers UK Forum

Caring for self-harming suicidal daughter

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hi,

I'm new to the forum, my daughter attempted suicide in January, since discovered she has been (and still is) self harming and now seems to developing an eating disorder. She has support from Camhs, the MAST team and her new school (she changed as bullying at her old school was part of the problem). She is now on fluoxetine but still feeling awful, wont socialise, feels very down, although she is making it to school on a reduced timetable.
She doesn't want to see her dad much although he is trying hard to keep their relationship going. It's been a long year and I keep hoping things will improve.
I have been off work a lot this year with stress due to my daughter's condition (I'm a teacher) and have asked to go part-time. As a single parent the reduction in income means I will have to do some supply work. I have a meeting coming up with my school which may lead to capability proceedings, which doesn't help my stress levels. II wondered if anyone else is in the same sort of situation?
thanks
Hi Sam,

Welcome to the forum. I cant imagine what you have both been through. So many things to consider when changing hours at work etc that always best to consult with experts.

Carers UK have a free helpline you can phone, details here
viewtopic.php?f=58&t=21238

Hopefully they can help or point you in the direction of someone that can. In meantime please feel free to read the forum and join in on any of the chats.

x x
Hello Sam and welcome to the forum. I'm sorry that I don't have any useful advice for you, but as Rosemary says try CUK otherwise, someone else will be along soon.
i have been there, bullied, made multiple suicide attempts, regularly beat myself then cried myself to sleep. then i turned to food to control my life. when i found the autism spectrum stuff i found myself and and a way to get to where i am today, an independent 20 year old woman working, and supporting others who weren't lucky enough to have a brilliant dad who would understand and take the time to help.

my best advice here would be look around for other underlying causes of the problems, i know dyspraxia and higher functioning autism spectrum disorders are often missed or ignored in girls, and i am sure there are many other conditions that could be hidden. Do not take a doctor's (or any other professional's) word that there is nothing else different until you and your daughter agree. maybe suggest she find an internet support group or e-pal who is or has been in a similar situation, that can be less confrontational than a face to face meeting, but can still give her something to let her know she is not alone.

Don't panic about work if you can help it. i know this sounds dismissive, but if you loose your job, you have more time to work for your daughter. you might have to get by on benefits, but it is possible, and with most children, your time is more important than your money. and once your time invested in your daughter has paid off, as it will eventually, you can go back to work. i am not an expert in employee rights, but it might be worth looking for one, as most employers will do everything to deny you your rights. go to the meeting prepared and if you can, accompanied.

hope that helps
Hi And welcome to the site.

School was the worst years of my life..hate bullies with a passion.
Is there any online groups your daughter can join so she can feel less alone.

Hope you get some support for yourself too x
Thank you for your responses! Its really nice to hear from others. Things have moved on a little, my daughter has been given a residential place at a NHS centre for children, and is beginning to feel the benefits of their support, although it is early days. she comes home for weekends, attends the school there and has lots of support, so fingers crossed..
So pleased to hear that your daughter is getting the support she needs, I hope she continues to improve and be happy.
Just a very brief comment in such a frightening situation for you - I'm sure this will already have been thought of, but I would urge that your daughter now NEVER have unsupervised access to the Internet - whilst indeed support forums may be a huge, huge help for her, if she is being bullied at school (in any form at all) then, as we all grimly know, bullies may well try and continue their vile torment via the Internet (facebook etc).

I've only been briefly on the receiving end of cyber-bullying a few years ago, and it was terrifyingly ghastly. I had never thought of myself as being someone who could ever be intimidated any more by another human being, but I was wrong. The vilest thing about cyberbullies is how utterly impotent they make you. In real life, there is always the possibility that one could attack the bullies and beat them to a pulp (fightting fire with fire!), but cyberbullies are immune, you simply can't get at them, and they go on and on and on and never, ever stop - until you leave the Internet. To this day, if I ever knew the real life identity of the b***es that were getting at me (en masse) I would push them in the bloody river and watch them go under! I know that sounds bad, but what they do to other people is utterly disgusting - it's the sheer, raw hatred coming from other people that is so, so terrifying. (Yes, I know I sound like I hate them back - which I do! - but they started it!)

All the very, very best for your daughter, and I hope she continues to get the help and support that she needs - with kind thoughts at this difficult time for you and your daughter - Jenny.