Hi, newbie and having problems with the forum - it's so vast how do you all keep up with each other? I'd really like to have contact with other carers in similar circumstances as me. I'm almost 40, have three children aged 11, 13 and 15 and my partner (46) is physically disabled and his condition is degenerative. Please don't ask me what he's got as I can only give you a long list of symptoms so therefore I can't access any specific support groups/charities either. At the moment I'm fine though I have periods of dispair, doubt, guilt, inadequacy, selfishness etc, I could go on but nothing new from what I've already read on here. How do people juggle the needs of the person you're caring for and demands/needs of children without feeling you're failing at both? Stupid but thought I was ok until I wrote that (weeping) - amazing how easy it is to push your own emotions aside and deal with daily tasks - perhaps I'm just good at pretending! Will my kids ever understand or forgive me for choosing a partner who's disabled? If you read between the lines you'll realise there is conflict in my house. Would just like to talk to someone who won't judge me bearing in mind I chose to be in this situation although naively not realising how difficult this journey would be.
Good to have you here! We won't judge you here and although we all have different caring situations here, we're still all carers and there are some feelings which are almost universal for carers, such as your list of feelings of despair, guilt, selfishness etc. From my experience, many people feel these things (yep, me included), but very few realise that others feel exactly the same way.
How do we deal with it? Well, one way is to talk about it. Many of us get misunderstood by family and friends who just don't understand how difficult and isolating caring can be (don't know if you've had this), but there's no substitute for speaking to another carer - someone who understands why you feel the way you feel and has had the same experience.
As for the forum, I can see why it might seem daunting. I feel that way when I haven't been on for a while, but just take your time, have a look around and just jump in as and when you feel the need, don't be shy, we're a nice crowd. You will soon start to see where you want to be. And feel free to start a new topic if you have questions or just want to know where to go on the forum.
Sorry for rambling so much at you.
Anyhow, welcome again and I hope to see you around
