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Caring for my Husband - Carers UK Forum

Caring for my Husband

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hi everyone,
My name is Jules, I'm in my 30's and care full time for my disabled husband (who's only 40).
Things first of all were not too bad but his health detioration has seem to had a domino effect and gone from bad to worse and on top of spinal, pelvis, femur, muscle and nerve damage he has now been referred to Addenbrookes Hospital in Cambridge for liver and spleen problems.
He solely has to rely on me for everything, which i know he hates because he feels he should be taking care of me and all though I love him with all my heart being his full time Carer is talking it's toll.
I'm not sure if thats the right feeling to have and I feel so guilty of feeling alone, lost, angry our situation and at my wits end. Image because I love him with all my heart and couldn't have my life without him.
Although I have him and we still make each other laugh I feel like outside of being carer I have no life at all... Is that wrong??? Image

I know I am not alone, and there are people/couples in far worse situations for which my heart goes out to you.. I just need a little help please and some kind words of wisdom Image

Thank you for listening to me.. Regards Jules x
No Jules, absolutely none of that's wrong.
Feeling like caring is taking it's toll? Feeling angry about it? Upset? Tired and want a break? Sometimes asking why you have to deal with this on your own? Feeling lonely and, to top it all of, feeling guilty about feeling all of this?
Yep. Been there, like many others here.
Luckily we've got each other. I don't mean to sound corny, but it's true. I always feel that there's no substitute for talking to other carers. The officials can help with certain practicalities and can make life easier (though not always), but you can't beat speaking to someone who understands how you feel and feels it all too.

Have a look around the forum and just post as and when you feel like it. And don't be shy to start a topic of your own if theres something you want to say / ask. We're a nice, friendly bunch and a good group of people to be around if you want to feel a little less alone in your caring role.
Hi Jules and welcome Image Nothing wrong about the way you feel, sadly it's quite normal!
And there is nothing better for it than talking to people who know exactly where you are coming from. Image
Hiya Jules and a warm welcome to the forum.
Hi Jules, and welcome, you will find people here who understand your feelings. We all have them at times. Unlike you, I care for my mum (luckily part-time as I also go to work). The sad thing is we become carers first, and wives / daughters second. I think it is totally normal to feel tired and frankly plain resentful; it's not a life we choose, it chose us. Feel free to join in with any threads you see or start a new one. This forum can be a lifeline to many of us.
Hi Jules,
could have written your post myself!
We're in similar situations, if you want to PM me (Private Message icon under my name) please feel free.
Welcome to the forum......you are not alone x
Hi Jules,
Welcome to the forum, agree with everybody else. Your normal. guilt, isolation, anger,
resentment , feeling invisible all , part of the carers package. been there . Go a
bit easier on yourself, it's all normal feelings.
Take care
Minnie
Hi Jules I'm quite a newbi, You will fine friends and advice here and people who care and believe me
it helps to talk, and welcome.