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Carers UK Forum • Caring for my Grandparents and new
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Caring for my Grandparents and new

Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 11:01 pm
by mby
Hi
My name is Michelle and I have never used online forums before but becoming a carer has made it slightly more difficult to access my normal support networks!!
I gave up full time work 3 months ago to become fulltime carer for both of my Grandparents, following a breakdown of previous arrangment. Both of my Grandparents have severe(stage 6)Alzheimers but present very differently. My Nan is a wanderer, fidget and social but fairly easy going and happy to be cared for,no concept of time and limited short term memory but no long term memory(she has no idea what my name is and I've lived alongside them for 32 years) Grandad likes peace,quiet and sitting down, although can be very miserable and aggresive. He thinks they are coping fine and and no care is required ( which requires me to be invisible in order to change his clothes or clean the house!!) no short term memory what so ever and limited long term memory, he can do things that have been part of his routine everyday for a few years(shaving/washing up although not very well!!) Think disturbed nights and Grandads aggression are the things I am finding most difficult in my caring role although I am currently trying to chase various agencies about these (also missing a wage and social life- going out takes such planning/organisation arranging cover by 2 other family members !)
I live in an annexe attached to my Grandparents house with an internal door between our houses, so use a baby monitor during the night as there can be frequent arguements/toilet visits.I have lived here since I was a child and currently have a partner and two teenagers in my own household.
I have just started to make enquires about a carers assessment, not sure how helpful they are so any advice will be gratefully recieved. I have also been in touch with Carers Support and have left messages with the local branch of the Alzheimers Society. I am already discovering that help and support can be quite difficult to access/slow to respond.Although my local OT dept was great when I made a fuss about lifting my Nan in and out of the bath it would have been nice not to have to make the fuss in the first place!!
Sorry have realised this is a little long!! so signing off now and hoping for a peaceful night Image

Re: Caring for my Grandparents and new

Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 11:13 pm
by bowlingbun
This is a lot of responsibility for you to shoulder, so don't be afraid to be really persistent/demanding that help is provided for you. Do insist on a face to face Carer's Assessment, and make sure you ring the Carers UK helpline (or email them) as they might have some suggestions. Take great care of your own health too.

Re: Caring for my Grandparents and new

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:57 am
by mby
Thanks for the reply. It never occured to me that the assessment would be anything other than face to face so I will bear that in mind!

Re: Caring for my Grandparents and new

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 12:01 pm
by bowlingbun
My local authority sent me a tick box questioinnaire with four alternative choices, which I refused to complete and insisted that a social worker came to see me. Nevertheless, her questioning still related to the form.

Re: Caring for my Grandparents and new

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 2:20 pm
by Myrtle
Hi Michelle and welcome Image
Have a good think about what you need for your assessment, but be aware that they might not be able to offer what you want and you might not want what they are able to offer!

Re: Caring for my Grandparents and new

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 3:20 pm
by michael parker
Hi and welcome to the Forum.Hope you find it useful and fun. Image Image Image

Re: Caring for my Grandparents and new

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 3:42 pm
by Anne001
And welcome to the Forum from me too! Lots of people here to listen and advise, especially when you just want to rant. Very difficult with the disturbed nights. Hope you can get some help locally - it can be a minefield. My "Carers' Assessment" was also a form, but I did get good help from the OT team. Look forward to "talking" to you, Anne

Re: Caring for my Grandparents and new

Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:43 pm
by mby
Thank you for the welcome and the information regarding carers assessment. My local carer support group has sent me some really useful guidelines about issues to raise, prompting questions for the 5 main areas and the sort of support I could request (although also warned I might not get it all) Think Grandad would throw any respite carers out with a great deal of verbal abuse anyway, he doesn't even like any other members of the family stepping in!!
Been really helpful reading through old posts and thinking how familiar some of the situations and difficulties are and seeing how others have tried to solve the problem or even just knowing it's not just me Image

Re: Caring for my Grandparents and new

Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:10 am
by weemags02
Hi Michelle and welcome to the forum.
I am sure you will have plenty of support and listening ears here.
Why not pop into the 'Roll call' topic and have a chat.

cheers
Mags