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Autism support - Carers UK Forum

Autism support

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
I am grandmother to two young children, a little girl of 6, and a boy of 10. Our boy is on the autistic spectrum. Their Mummy, our youngest daughter, passed away from leukaemia four years ago. Alternate weekends my husband and I provide respite care for one or the other of the children, which gives their Daddy a bit of a rest. We also support my learning disabled son who is in semi sheltered accommodation.

Recently, our grandson has become increasingly anxious, having frequent meltdowns, nd struggling to sleep. He has tracked his Daddy, punching, kicking and biting. He's a big lad for his age. This weekend, for the first time, I got punched too. His little sister gets very frightened and screams when he is in this state. The doctor wants to wait to see if he settles once the school term is under way. I believe the family is in crisis. How do I get help?
Hello Anne and welcome to the forum.
Sorry to hear you're having trouble with your grandson. Find out who he has been seeing during the school holidays because it sounds like he's learnt that anti social behaviour from someone else. Has another child been bullying him?
Are Social Services or Education helping at a all?
Does he go to a mainstream or special school?
Would it be better for you to go to his house, rather than come to yours?
The children come to my house ( individually) to give them a break from the situation at home. It seems to help. I take them back on a Sunday night and sleep over until Monday morning.
As an update, our little lad had a complete breakdown at school yesterday, which carried over throughout the evening. He finally fell asleep exhausted at 10.50 pm. The SENDCO has been very supportive throughout his school career to date, but there is only so much can be done in a mainstream school. The educational psychologist sees him once a year. Yhe SENDCO is now arranging for a weekly counselling session. In the meantime, he is to wired to attend school today, and for the next couple of weeks will be attending mornings only, to ease him back into the pattern of school life. He will have help catching up. Thereafter, they are arranging 'structured play, so that the children who enjoy setting him off cannot trigger another episode. My heart weeps for our boy.
There is an organisation called IPSEA. I suggest that you talk to them about the problems your son is having at school.
It may be better for your grandson to attend a special school, rather than a mainstream school.
They were wonderful when my son needed a special school and the council were being stubborn.
I know it's a difficult issue, I nearly had a breakdown.
Put simply, is it better for him to be in mainstream, little fish, big pool.
Or is it better to be a bigger fish in a little pool.
For my son, the special school was wonderful, the making of him.
We are trying to get him into a special school when he transitions to secondary school next September, but there are no guarantees- the local ones are heavily oversubscribed. Will look into IPSEA. Thanks.
Contact IPSEA as soon as possible, these things take forever!
Have you looked at schools outside the state system?
My son was brain damaged, is now part 3 years old, part 42 year old. #
He went to the Sheiling School in Ringwood, Hampshire, which is a "Camphill" school.
They are dotted around the country, take day and boarding pupils.
The council may not tell you about them, as they are not in the state system, they approach education a bit differently. Staff are very calm and classes are very small.
It is up to his Daddy regarding school placement, not me. It took quite a bit of convincing for him to agree to look at special schooling for secondary level when our boy transitions next September. However, since they had a visit arranged by his current SENDCO, both Daddy and our boy are more enthusiastic. The little lad told me "Granny, it was awesome!" and you don't hear kids say that about school very often. Getting through to next September is the worrisome part. He wanted to kill himself Sunday and Monday night, poor little guy. I have told his Daddy that is more than just a meltdown, but he has yet to take action. I am very worried about all of them.
As a parent, it's very difficult to see the gap between a special needs child and a child without special needs.
Of course your son in law is the one to make the ultimate decision, and of course the council make the future seem rosy, but is it? Having lost my own husband, I know how stressful it is losing a spouse. He needs all the help he can get.
How many options were given?
Your grandson is clearly already utterly stressed out. How on earth will he cope with a whole school year?
Hi, bowlingbun. That's exactly what has me worried. I don't want my grandsonbto wind up in care, but I can see it happening if things don't change. Either that, or he will harm himself, or his little sister could get hurt if she gets in the way. The whole thing terrifies me.