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Caring for a family member and family Support - Carers UK Forum

Caring for a family member and family Support

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Currently caring everyday for my terminally I'll father who has advanced prostrate cancer. I have asked my sister to be with dad for half a day as he never wants to go out anywhere and I need to get away from home. As feel I have put my life on hold completely and she has said she will pop in for an hour or two before going to see her boyfriend it makes feel so angry and fustrated. As it's only half a day.

Does anyone feel the same when family does not understand? that you have had to put your life on hold as I'm struggling to find a balance

As I would love to go to college and university to retain as a nurse both courses are full time which they have said it would not be possible to do when caring as there needs to be alot of focus.

Austin
Austin_1605 wrote:Currently caring everyday for my terminally I'll father who has advanced prostrate cancer. I have asked my sister to be with dad for half a day as he never wants to go out anywhere and I need to get away from home. As feel I have put my life on hold completely and she has said she will pop in for an hour or two before going to see her boyfriend it makes feel so angry and fustrated. As it's only half a day.

Does anyone feel the same when family does not understand? that you have had to put your life on hold as I'm struggling to find a balance

As I would love to go to college and university to retain as a nurse both courses are full time which they have said it would not be possible to do when caring as there needs to be alot of focus.

Austin
Hi Austin,

Sorry to hear about your dad and your family situation. Unfortunately it's very common as you'll see from a lot of the threads on here; often one person does absolutely everything and other family members and friends simply melt away or make such a big song and dance about doing one small thing that it makes you feel worse than if they hadn't bothered.

I know some of the other posters on the forum have cared for loved ones with cancer so they will probably know a lot more about what sort of help you can get than I do, but I do know that MacMillan advertise for volunteer sitters in our area so it might be that a charity or organisation can arrange for someone to spend some time with your dad so that you can get a break. It doesn't help with the situation with your sister, unfortunately, but it might mean you can get a bit of space every now and again. As I said, others will be a long who know a lot more about this sort of thing and should be able to give you more specific advice.

MumWhoCares
Hi Austin

This is a very difficult time for you.
Does your father get any other help coming into the house at all?
It is too much for you to have the sole responsibility for caring for your dad.
Has your father had a needs assessment from a social worker and have you had a needs assessment?
There are very good fact sheets on this site with the information.
You are entitled to have your needs assessed by a social worker in private and the social worker is there to support YOU as much as your dad.
Please do phone your social services department and arrange to speak to a social worker as soon as possible, if you haven't seen a social worker recently.
Others with more experience of giving advice will be along.

Christina