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Sister and carer - Carers UK Forum

Sister and carer

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Hi everyone
My name is Doreen I am new to this forum and never done anything like this before.
I am carer to my sister who as a learning disability and we are both mature adults! At the moment I am struggling with stress and frustration with the situations that keep coming up.
My sister did try to live independently but that failed so she had to come back and live with me because both my parents have passed away sometime ago.
The most frustrating thing at the moment is that she is on the new ESA benefit (work related) part so more backwards and forwards with this and I am on JSA it is getting too much and don't know which way too turn for help.
Hello Doreen and a very warm welcome Image

Its brilliant what you are doing, though I'm glad your sister had a go at living more independantly. She is lucky to have you. Sorry but I cannot advise you re your particular query but I'm sure someone will during the course of today or the next couple of days.

Meanwhile, take care and good to have you with us here !

Hi and welcome.Hope you find the Forum useful and fun.If you have a social worker then they should be able to advise you.Carers UK can advise you about any entitlements you may both be entitled to.Use their advice service. Image Image Image
Hi Doreen and welcome Image
Hi Doreen Image im so sorry to hear your having so many problems first a hug is nice sometimes (((((hugs))))) I am a carer for my brothers and im the only girl in a family of 4 brothers , they too have learning disabilities and its been a challange to get them to do or learn anything , we have found one thing that really helps tho and it seems that many people with learning disabilities have a hidden talent for music ,in music i mean like musical instruments .
Does your sister do any hobbies and do you do any hobbies or do you have any kind of support either good friends online or people that help out near you . Have you thought about putting in for been a carer for your sister ?
Hi Everyone and thanks for the very warm welcome.
Concerning the SocialWorker side of things they have taken the back seat and are not involved at this present moment in time because they say she is not in need of critical care and does not require a service so we are very limited what support we can access because nearly everything is on a Personal Budget.
My sister does have hobbies but she soon looses patience if things go wrong and she gets very frustrated very easily. I have some support through a carers group but I feel very isolated when I go to meetings because their are all nearly parent carers and on personal budgets.
Anyway enough ranting for now. I am going to see if I can get some outside support for my sister tomorrow so hears hoping we get somewhere but not very optimistic keep you posted.
Hello Doreen and many thanks for the helpful update. I'm sorry that things have not moved on much for you. I guess your sister is not going to change much in that you or whoever will always need patience etc. Like most of us, some days you probably take things in your stride. Other days you probably stumble and trip over little things. Thats how it is for me anyway !

Its a pity your local Carers Group has not given you what you had hoped for. Thats a pity, but as you say its probably unusual to care for a sibling like you do. But stick with it because if you stop attending you will just isolate yourself more I guess.

It does not sound like you get a great deal of support, although I wont pretend to understand Personalised Budgets. From your first posting it sounded like there were some benefit issues. Again something I know nothing about. I'm not too sure what might help you at this present time. I am assuming the current arrangement with your sister is a permanent one ? Or might you / she be willing to consider alternatives at some stage ? I note that your sister did live more independantly once but that somehow did not work out.

Anyway, thanks again for the update. Hope things get a bit better for you, though I do hear you are not exactly full of optimism on that front. Take care.

Robert Image