Tell us a bit about yourself here.

I should have had a Carer's Assessment months ago, but it never happened for whatever reason. I phoned them when things were very bad, and insisted that I had an assessment asap.
This is happening tomorrow morning.

Given that my first family caring role was in 1980 and it has rolled on from there, last week when I was very down, it came into my head that this latest situation with my partner, is probably 'the straw that broke the camel's back.' - is that the sort of thing I should be telling them? The whole situation was so sudden that I feel that I have been locked out of my profession as a genealogist ( and I am very good as a genealogist, even if I say it myself) and been told to take up a completely different job that I have no training for and do not want to do - again, is that what I should be telling them?

Tomorrow afternoon at 3pm I am then having a social services re assessment of my partners needs - I think I should lay it on as thick as I can - is that right? He, as I have said before and sorry to repeat myself, thinks that he is fine and this is what he will tell them -

Any ideas of what kind of things I should be saying would be much appreciated - I guess BB and JL will be reading this, so anyone out there with ideas....... :-???
I would write down what help he needs in a 'typical day'. and hand them the list discreetly. Can he get up on his own? Wash? Prepare food? Take tablets? Organise medical appointments? I know he is having problems with his Stoma and I would definitely tell them this. Yes denial seems common and I KNOW my husband would be just the same if I asked for an Assessment.

I would just be totally straight and tell them that he could not manage on his own and is a 'vulnerable adult' . I think I would also mention Carers Meltdown and even say that you are going to see your GP due to the sheer stress.......

But BB and Jenny are much better and more experienced so hopefully they can guide you Mary. But I do think in todays cash strapped world you are really going to have to take the gloves off to get any help so I would stress the affect caring is having on your health and from reading your posts it obviously is. You are a caring person and that I feel is what the NHS and SS will try to take advantage of. CAn you threaten to leave for a couple of weeks to get some Respite for your own mental and physical health? Would your partner cope without you????
You should be asked what would support you in your caring role?
Answer: If I don't get more reliable help quickly AND regular respite care, I'm not going to be able to care any more, and he'll HAVE to go into a home on a permanent basis.
This answer will set their alarm bells ringing, especially if they would be financially responsible if he moved into residential care, as it will be cheaper for them to arrange part time care than full time care!
Good luck.