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Carer who is NOT POA - Carers UK Forum

Carer who is NOT POA

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Hi, I'm new to the forum. I have been looking after my 93 year old Mother in my home for a year now, I am NOT POA, that was put in place before she came here with family members ( we don't get on) I was working full time and had to cut my hours and claim Carers Allowance to enable me to look after Mum ( who has vascular Dementia) My family made my wages up from Mums pension (which they have). There has been a fall out and they are now not making this difference up. Should they be in control of her Pension if I am her Carer? How much should they be giving me from Mums pension to keep her? Can anyone help me? x
If they refuse to pay you for giving up so much to look after THEIR mum, then put her in a car, drive her over to them, and leave her on their doorstep. I GUARANTEE they will start paying you.

You are doing what it would cost A HUNDRED POUNDS A DAY if she were in a care home. This is what my MIL has to pay (she to has dementia, and is 92).

If they have only been paying 'some' of your mum's pension to you, what is happening to the rest of it? Is it, perchance, going into a bank account, remaining unspent, so that, oh yes, THEY can inherit it once she dies????

Forgive me for being suspicious, but a family that ruthlessly exploits one loyal member who sacrifices a great deal, and takes on a job that NO ONE is keen on doing, and then has the GALL to not pay her....does, yes, arouse suspicion!

If things do get nasty (or rather ,nastier), you will have to 'play hard ball' and only by threatening them - and meaning it! - to walk away from ANY care of your mum, will they knuckle under.

What was the disagreement about?

overall, is mum living in your house, or you in hers, how much is her pension (state or private), what are her assets (property, savings, etc)? Like I say, a care home that the council doesn't pay for costs £100 a day. That equates to a salary for you of £36,500! Is that what they are paying you? I doubt it!
Hi Joyce, welcome to the forum. If you were not caring for mum, would she need a nursing home, or a care home?
Having decided the answer,

Step 1. Look at the relevant homes in your area - the Care Quality Commission have an easy to use database.
How much do they charge - THIS amount gives you your starting point.
Step 2.Then ask them for that amount, in writing, backdated to the date you started caring. Ask them to reply IN WRITING. Say you want a reply in 14 days.
They will then reject this out of hand.
Step 3. Then tell them, again in writing. that UNLESS they reconsider, it is your intention to go to the Court of Protection. Mum's money is MUM'S not theirs, and an attorney is duty bound, under legislation, to spend it on mum. It is NOT THEIR MONEY. Again, 14 day deadline.
Step 4. Go to the Court of Protection.

Do you have any idea at all of how much money mum has - just a yes/no answer will do.
Do the relatives pay for all the property upkeep?
Have they claimed Attendance Allowance for mum?
Hi Joyce,
Gosh, I just wish you knew what your rights really are in this situation, because you have many cards to play if you are willing to deal them right.
Technically speaking, if they were paying you (regardless of the source of funds) for over 365 days, then you have employment rights. You haven't been legally fired, because they have not made alternative steps to provide care or formally written to fire you, giving you a written reason, right to reply etc. Basically they are your employer, you are still doing the job, but they simply are verbally refusing to pay you for it, OK? So we are dealing with a straightforward employer: employee dispute, but you probably don't see it that way, because this is family, right? In fact, in law, family makes no difference, they are still your employers, and the fact that they have POA is actually a huge advantage to you because it helps to define your relationship with them in law as an employee.

So, if employed for over one year, phone ACAS or simply file a case with the employment tribunal for lack of wages, (fill out an IT 1 form online and pay the small fee, which is refundable if you win: that will trigger an automatic and free arbitration service, and that might get 'em to see sense!

If you have been there for slightly under 365 days, then hang fire for a few days or weeks until the all important 365 days has gone by, keep your powder dry, because unless they formally fire you in writing, you are still employed by them and the back pay will be mounting up. Oh, and they will also be in trouble with the taxman for not registering as an employer and paying National Insurance etc, so thats a double whammy.

I also hope that you were being paid at least the minimum wage, and had a written contract stating the hours of work. No? In that case you are owed even more in the form of back-pay as well as compensation for unfair dismissal.... hit them hard with every hour you really worked, because they deserve nothing else.

If you lack legal or Trades Union experience, please consult a family solicitor first. He will suggest writing them a letter first to give them the chance to back off, and if they have any sense they will simply pay up. You will need legal help calculating the compensation due and managing the process, which might seem a bit daunting, but is actually very simple if you know what you are doing. But as I said, you are holding a hand of aces here: and do not worry about the cost of consulting a solicitor because it is money well spent: unless they wish to defend themselves in an Industrial Tribunal (which is a form of Court) they have no choice but to go to arbitration, and you will win: good luck!

By the way, I wouldn't recommend the Court of Protection at all: they are very expensive and take ages: you may not win anyway if the POA is valid: the employment route is far swifter, cheaper, and much clearer.
Thanks for the replies, its not my employers who are not paying me, I made a verbal agreement with family that if I cut my hours at work, they would make my wage up from Mums pension. Thanks for the advice, but seems theres nothing I can do about anything as the family are POA, but thanks anyway x
Joyce, I don't think you have read through my earlier post properly and understood it. Please look at it again. An attorney has a duty to spend mum's money on her (and her care). They are clearly not doing this and are therefore in breach of the terms under which they are required to act. Please, if you don't understand any of this, ring the Carers Uk helpline (or email them if they are busy) and also ring the Court of Protection (COP). Attorneys cannot do whatever they like just because mum wrote a POA in their favour. That only gives them rights to do certain things in certain ways. In this case, they are acting UNLAWFULLY. You can and should do something.
If your relatives have PoA for your mother, then, yes, they are responsible for her financial affairs - but everything has to be done in the BEST INTERESTS of your mother.

In your shoes, I would tell your family that you are unable to cope financially without the contribution from your mother's pension and will therefore have to return to work full-time. They will then need to put in place carers or residential care - and they will find this a great deal more expensive!
Joyce, I'm very worried by your reply!

Yes, you CAN do something about your family - and you must! For your mum's sake as well as yourself.

What are they doing with her pension money? It's hers, not theirs!

Why have they stopped paying you what they did? What has happened?

You do NOT have to look after your mother 'free' (or at a loss to yourself). That is out of the question.

Please, if you do nothing else, PLEASE contact Carers UK helpline (or email for a faster response) - or just go and book a single session with a solicitor and tell the solicitor what you are telling us here.

This is important!


PS - What Scally meant was that by paying you to look after your mum, your family 'automatically' legally assume the responsibilities of an employer! That means you get employee 'rights'. That gives you a great deal of power in this situation! (Though actually, all you have to do is tell your family you won't look after your mum any more, and then you go to your GP or SS, and tell them you want her out of your house, and that's that. You DO NOT HAVE to look after her.)(even if you want to!)
Joyce, a 'verbal agreement' which you act on, giving up your work in this case, is a binding contract. There is nothibg casual about it.
Thanks everyone,I have re-read,I contacted Carers Uk by phone got advise, I am making moves against my familys decisions regarding Mum. I was told today if the socialwork accept my Mums word to stay here over the POA, then my Mum is still capable of making her own decisions about her pension.I thank you all for helping ( I am so stressed out by it all and know nothing) x