Carer to my husband who has COPD

[no1mum]

Hiya Mags and a warm welcome to the forum.

[weemags02]

Thanks once again for the welcome.
It was 'comforting' to hear that a couple of you especially, have knowledge of caring for someone with C.O.P.D. - My hubby has so much to do --- (in his head) and we have been waiting to 'do' a lot of things to the house for 2 or more years'. If I mention that I'll get someone in to do the jobs - he always says no that he'will do it........but it never gets done. I cannot manage to do anything myself as I have many health issues as well......so we are still waiting. Hubby wont accept that he wont be able to do any of these things - at all - at anytime because he cannot raise the strength and is too weak in his lungs. He is refusing to accept this.

thanks
Mags

[Melly1]

Hi Mags and welcome.

Melly1

[evedan]

Hi Mags.....My Hubby is just the same,the frustration of not being able to do the garden really
gets him down....although having said that he has managed to do the greenhouse.he has a stool in there that he can sit on, but if he can't manage to water the tomatoes i help him!!He gets very depressed but it's the coming to terms of the future that is the hardest!! He has just been diagnosed with a hernia and has an appointment at the hospital for a (C.T.Scan on Tuesday)...Does your Hubby get many chest infections? You say you have health issues so you must look after yourself....i manage to go out once a week with a couple of friends i used to work with
we have some lunch and a "CHIN WAG" it helps to relax a bit!! Hope i have not bored you but it's nice to talk to someone else who can relate to this terrible illness!!

Take care Eve x x ((KEEP )) X

[weemags02]

Eve - you havent bored me at all ---- do feel free to share with me - as you said - its good to have someone to talk with that is going through the same or similar issues.
Yes, my hubby gets very frustrated in the fact he can no longer do things around the house or garden. ----- He is not happy if I suggest that I do it. I dont think he wants to loose the -' I do man things status ' - but he is reluctant to let anyone else help yet. It is frustrating for me too.
He has infection after infection and can pick up one from anyone who has a cold or sniffles very easily. We have a plan in place to be able to order steriods and anti-biotics on repeat prescription to keep in the house - just in case.
Dont bring the grandkids over to ours if the have runny noses oe coughs. If the infection is too bad and the pills dont work - then its a trip to A&E for oxygen and a few days in the chest ward.
It can be tough on us carers.
Thanks for listening.
Mags x

[Brindleboy123]

Hi Mags - your last post brings back so many memories! The endless calls to Mum that we "can't come over because the kids have a cold" etc etc. We found it useful for Mum to have a supply of antibiotics spare in the house as she was forever saying we shouldn't ring the doctor on a weekend and to be honest if it was the on-call doctor they really didn't have a clue how to deal with Mum with all her other ailments on top of COPD. It just meant that we didn't have to wait 2 or 3 days before she could start the next course. Then it was the catch 22 of having "too many antibiotics".....and the increased risk of C.Diff which Mum has already fallen for.

Mum still thought she could do everything and loved gardening but she did have a crafty streak because she knew if she said "I'm going to do the garden", I would go out and do it! I can understand how your husband doesn't want to "let go" of what he feels is his responsibilities. It is a very big step and I'm sure one that he is aware there would be no coming back from. That leaves you in a difficult situation where nothing can get done, some of which may even help the day to day living. My only advice would be to perhaps ask someone who he knows well in the family to have a little tactful word with him. Failing that, is it possible for you to have a chat with one his doctor so that he can perhaps have a word? I was fortunate that we had a very good social worker and when I was concerned about Mum for one thing or another, I was able to speak with her and she would tactfully get around to whatever the subject was on her visits! Do you have a social worker? Have you had a carers assessment?

I know sadly only too well how difficult the illness can be and with your own health issues it must be a terrible strain on the whole family. Please remember that we are all here, many of us are either going through similar situations or sadly, our carers are no longer here but the memories stay forever.

Take care,
Bell x