Power of Attorney - finances

[Mary_16121]

What is the best way of supervising the finances of someone who doesn't believe they have a problem..... the poor ould fella has run up his overdraft to the limit, and sees no reason why I should want to supervise his spending ( he can't pay his share of the rent etc) - If I go to his bank with my ID and the Power of Attorney documents - to sort it all out - are they allowed to use his pension to clear the overdraft when that is all the money his has coming in......... forewarned is forearmed, so I would like to know the situation in advance.....

[Pet66]

Mary.
I'm sure the bank will come to a sensible arrangement. They won't take all of the pension as it will just cause more difficulties. Really, and I know it will be difficult, your fella should just be given cash now, and you deal with the rest, involving the card etc. Afraid it's another awful stage that needs to be coped with. My husband, a very intelligent man, couldn't sort out his finances as the Dementia was progressing. Could write a list of what he did, and now I'm chipping away at it all. Getting there, but will be so much better for you if it doesn't get out of hand. Sorry it's another awful whammy for you.

[Gilly_1709]

Can I ask a question here please. I too am looking into this and have downloaded Power of Attorney forms from Internet spoke to Help Line - all very helpful.

But - have spoke to my Mum for her thought s on me having Power of Attorney. She feels there is no need as 'I do my cheques OK don't I? I have got one ready for my frozen dinners OK.'

I answered with 'Well if you were in hospital and something needed to be paid - I can do that for you on your cheque book and the Bank of said that will all be OK when we complete the forms.' (I have got all utility bills set up fro D/D)

I was given the blank look. Now on the same visit - in the post had come her bank statements - she didn't understand one - it was her Savings Account. 'I thought I had more than that?' I suggested it was her Premium Bonds - so we got that statement out. So she looked at Savings Statement and said - I don't know where that came from.

In a way I could have said I think just to make sure all is OK - I think I need to get us helping you especially as you say your memory is not so good.

When she came out of hospital two weeks ago the OT asked about her memory etc and I explained there was some confusion and he suggested get Power of Attorney in place.

At moment I feel we are walking on eggshells because how I understand it they have to be of sound mind to sign the forms. How have any of you dealt with this?

P.S. Mary - I hope you don't mind me joining in your 'conversation' - thank you.

[Pet66]

I'm sure Mary won't mind!
Sadly, I had to go down the court of Protection route for my husband.One week he more or less understood, the next he hadn't the capacity. I don't know how to help, unless you say she can be power of attorney for you? In return. I know it's a fib, but a kind one. Hubby agreed to that, but then the rapid decline.
I do hope you can get it sorted, COP is very expensive and intrusive.

[susieq]

Of course Gilly you can always say to Mum along the lines of:

"everyone these days is advised to appoint a Power of Attorney, just like everyone is advised to have make a will. The PoA can't be used until it's registered - but you never know what's around the corner and it's better to be safe than sorry ! If we have to go the Court of Protection for permission to handle your finances then they will make an annual charge and we don't want to give them your money do we Mum "

My Mum raised her's just before her Alzheimer's got too bad and we didn't register it until about a year later, at which time she couldn't even remember what it was for. Luckily at the time it was raised her solicitor considered she still had enough mental capacity to understand the implications. It made life so much easier for me when dealing with utility companies and her bank.

[Mary_16121]

I never knew how important having Power of Attorney was until taking it out for the poor ould fella

do it sooner rather than later, that's what I have learnt.......

good luck xxx

[Gilly_1709]

I think pointing out some of her finances could go is worth a try. I also think she would probably like the idea of me doing the paperwork as it will save her money.

Thank you for the ideas.

[jenny lucas]

Just a thought - I never got PoA for my MIL with dementia - this was mainly because I'm not her next of kin (that's her surviving son in the USA) so it didn't seem 'right' and anyway I didn't really want the responsibility.

However, while she was still deemed to have mental capacity, she agreed to open a joint account with me, into which the proceeds of her flat sale went into, and that's what I am now paying her care home fees etc from.

It's not ideal, because I believe that legally I now have 'half' the account, but since it will all be spent in another two years or so there won't be anything for me to have 'half' of - and if there is any left after she dies, unless I go under a bus (!), I'll obviously hand the contents back to her son and my son to split in her estate.

But at least it makes it possible for me to handle her finances, and write cheques and so on. There is an audit trail of course via the bank to make sure I'm not blowing the money on a new Ferrari!!!

(There was quite a worrying article in the papers the other day about how much fraud goes on in families via PoA - relatives taking advantage etc. Horrible.)

[Gilly_1709]

Phew - what a headache it all is. Just not sure what the best way is - but I think something needs to happen soon and what a shame if it has to go through the Court of Protection. Having said that it might be easier as bothers do not seem concerned and it will just be less in the pot for them. Hopefully none will be left - as she will need more care to stay in her flat.

In my circumstances I don't think Joint Account would work.

I can understand the risks with POA and that is an issue I am concerned about. If another sibling was elected and if anything happened to me.

My concern now is that I have in the past always got the 'big' things she needs e.g. household items. (True only once in awhile) BUT - A little while ago I purchased something for her she asked me to get and I have always given her the receipts and she writes me a cheque.

One day she asked me to get her cash from the bank and I would not use her debit card and instead used mine. So she wrote the cheque to me for the purchase and cash.

Early last year she would always have it written down on her cheque stub this time when she looked at her bank statement she said 'Why did I give you all that money - not that I mind'.

I told her why and asked her what she had done with the receipts and she didn't know. (I have made notes of it all but hate this scenario)

Now I am seriously thinking if the request comes again then I say it has to be paid for by her cheque. Was so much easier paying by my card online - even for little things she has wanted from Amazon. Now - I feel I am walking on dangerous ground.

[Pet66]

Gilly
Oh dear, I feel for you. With hubby, it's because we had separate accounts. Nothing to do with trust, it just worked for us in the household.
Did you know you can have half an hour's free consultation with a solicitor. I did, and he was very helpful. Just too late for me for power of attorney. Maybe worth seeking advice.