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Carers UK Forum • careing for 2children,a husband and grandparents!!
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careing for 2children,a husband and grandparents!!

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2011 9:58 pm
by danielle mcdonald
hi im a very stressed 26yr old. I care for my husband that has obstructive sleep aponia and depression, my 8yr old son that has learning difficulties and adhd with its usual add ons and my 2yr old daughter who is one of twins and she has hypomobility and finally my nana and grandad as my grandad has recently being diagnosied with terminal cancer. so as you can imagine im very stressed im also trying to complete my hnc which i think i will have to leave till a better time. if anyone can give me some advise on how to manage things better im open to offers as the dr has now put me on heart meds as he said my heart is now beating irregulary (just what i needed) i know i must sound like a right moaner but thought someone out there might be able to help and wanted to give as much info as possible. x x

Re: careing for 2children,a husband and grandparents!!

Posted: Thu Nov 10, 2011 10:05 pm
by Myrtle
Hi Danielle and welcome Image
you do have a lot on your plate!
Have a look around as there is lots of help for just about everything from our very diversely caring members and feel free to jump in anywhere Image

Re: careing for 2children,a husband and grandparents!!

Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2011 12:24 pm
by Tracey
Hi Danielle.

Welcome to the site.
I care for my 10 yr old son who has Autism.
Great place here with lots friendly people.

Tracey x

Re: careing for 2children,a husband and grandparents!!

Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2011 1:22 pm
by Minnie
Hi Danielle ,
Welcome, nice to see you on the forum.
Good bunch of people here.
Minnie

Re: careing for 2children,a husband and grandparents!!

Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2011 1:47 pm
by danielle mcdonald
i dont even know where to start this forum is so big. i have managed to get a bit more help from contact a family who are brill. so fingers crossed i can get a tiny bit respite just for me and hubby as this is putting a massive strain on us as a couple. thanks for the replys really made me feel welcome as iv never done this before. x x x

Re: careing for 2children,a husband and grandparents!!

Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2011 2:03 pm
by BertieBear
Hi Danielle,
Welcome. I can see why you don't know where to start, but don't worry, we were all new here once Image
If you have any specific questions, feel free to start a new topic. There's usually someone around that can offer at least a listening ear if not practical advice.
I'm 25 (there are a few of us mid 20's around Image ) and care for my wife.

As for getting support for you, I'm glad you could get some support from family. If it's possible would they be able to help out more full time? I know you're dealing with a lot and you might not want to give the responsibility to someone else, but sometimes we have to own up and admit that things are hard and that we need help (by the way, good on you for coming on this forum). Even though it may be difficult on others to take on some of your caring role, or to help out with it, but in the long run it might be a better option.

Have you spoken to social services or any care agencies?

Re: careing for 2children,a husband and grandparents!!

Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2011 2:25 pm
by danielle mcdonald
the family cant or wont help it was an organistion called contact a family(worth a look) but iv foned social services today they will do am assesment on my children but not me or my husband i have to go the carers uk for there help first. which i did and they were fab, but social services were a bit straight down the line it was basically coz my husband has his problems during the night when he stops breathing and sleep walks it upto me to deal with that and when im at my wits end there might be funding for me to go to a day spa. i dont want a bloody day spa i just want a bit of sleep and support but they just didnt get it. im hoping carers uk can help they were really hopeful and helpful. and iv managed to find a charity to help battle the school for my sons special needs. its good to know there are other young carers coz i sometimes feel so isolated a bit like prison the same routine everyday nothing new nothing exciting just surving everyday. i know it will get better im just impatient x x

Re: careing for 2children,a husband and grandparents!!

Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2011 2:35 pm
by BertieBear
You've got enough to deal with Danielle. That's not being impatient. That's being human.

You should be entitled to a carers assessment from social services. This is specifically to deal with your needs. If you're finding it hard to cope of are overwhelmed or if caring is effecting your health in any way (including mental health) you might be able to get support through a carers assessment. Different counties have different rules and some are more helpful, others not so much, but if you ask Carers UK about them they might be able to give more info about them. As far as I know, if you ask for one, social services have to give you one, but you'll have to double check that.

I needed support and wasn't coping. We tried to get people to support my wife through her assessments, but nothing came of it. Then I had a carers assessment and we managed to get support and were able to get someone to help me out with food a couple of times a week. I still did the caring, but they took some of the workload off. We also get help with cleaning.
The support is out there, it's just finding the right route to the right help.

Re: careing for 2children,a husband and grandparents!!

Posted: Fri Nov 11, 2011 8:32 pm
by danielle mcdonald
thanks i will try asking a little lounder this time carers uk are going to get a support worker to phone on monday to let me know exactly what im entitled too. failing that there is always the local mental hospital they might take pity on me and let me in for a while lol x x

Re: careing for 2children,a husband and grandparents!!

Posted: Sat Nov 12, 2011 3:13 pm
by BertieBear
i will try asking a little lounder this time
My general rule - Ask for everything. Loudly and persistently.

If you don't ask, you don't get. The worst they can do is say no. You don't want to feel bad later if you need the support and didn't ask about it the first time around...
The squeaky wheel gets the grease... I could go on Image but seriously, this stuff is worth shouting about.