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careing for 2children,a husband and grandparents!! - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

careing for 2children,a husband and grandparents!!

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
the family cant or wont help it was an organistion called contact a family(worth a look) but iv foned social services today they will do am assesment on my children but not me or my husband i have to go the carers uk for there help first. which i did and they were fab, but social services were a bit straight down the line it was basically coz my husband has his problems during the night when he stops breathing and sleep walks it upto me to deal with that and when im at my wits end there might be funding for me to go to a day spa. i dont want a bloody day spa i just want a bit of sleep and support but they just didnt get it. im hoping carers uk can help they were really hopeful and helpful. and iv managed to find a charity to help battle the school for my sons special needs. its good to know there are other young carers coz i sometimes feel so isolated a bit like prison the same routine everyday nothing new nothing exciting just surving everyday. i know it will get better im just impatient x x
First point: both Contact a Family and Carers UK have a very small budget with only a few staff, and are run by carers and volunteers, there are millions of carers and very few volunteers or staff, so please accept that we are only as good as we have time for.

But secondly, and on the plus side we have all either been through it or are going through it still, most of us are also carers, in my case for twenty plus years, so we know how to fix things.

Your local Social services are the first port of call: keep pushing, and then push some more. They do have a legal responsibility to assess your needs as a carer in your own right and make reasonable provision, so dont let them off the hook. The harder you push, you more you get.
been on the phone today to social services and they said they cant see how else they could support my husband(there is no support but me) so no assesment needed and they dont feel a carers assesment for me is needed either. they have agreed to asses my daughter who has hypermobility but not my son who has adhd,odd and learning difficulties because he doesnt have a statment of need. Is this all correct because from what i read we all have a right to an assesment but they dont agree. This stuff really does get difficult when your not sure where you stand. I have a meeting with someone from carers uk on friday so im hopeful they can clear things up as iv heard alot of great things about them. iv got my fingers crossed this gets eaisier x
HI Danielle just saying hi!
I know what you are going through re social servs, I am having to deal with them at the mo regarding my Mum.I also care for my Hubby who has a neurological disorder and 2 children( who luckily are in good health)
Keep strong xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Image
hi im a very stressed 26yr old. I care for my husband that has obstructive sleep aponia and depression, my 8yr old son that has learning difficulties and adhd with its usual add ons and my 2yr old daughter who is one of twins and she has hypomobility and finally my nana and grandad as my grandad has recently being diagnosied with terminal cancer. so as you can imagine im very stressed im also trying to complete my hnc which i think i will have to leave till a better time. if anyone can give me some advise on how to manage things better im open to offers as the dr has now put me on heart meds as he said my heart is now beating irregulary (just what i needed) i know i must sound like a right moaner but thought someone out there might be able to help and wanted to give as much info as possible. x x
Divide and conquer. Get other family members involved and or social services. In order of priority your children come first then you then hubbie (although millions of hubbies might disagree with me there). Your hubbie might have sleep issues and depression but he is not incapable, they are his children too he can at least help out or make the effort too. So that is 2 adults helping with 2 children, half the battle won. If your hubbie complains then your heart condition beats his bad sleeping any day (he should be the one looking after you!).

Regarding your grandparents then there is no way you should be exertnig yourself to the nth degree. Helping them yes but taking on the resposiblity for them while you are so ill yourself is going to lead you to collapse. This is where you need other people to take the lion portion, get other family invovled.
thanks again for the great replies family still say they cant help as they work and i dont (wish i did it would be easier) still battling with social services but im phoning every day now so at some point they might start listening. Me and my husband got attacked last tuesday over a parking bay im ok just shocked but my husband ended up with staples in his head so police statments and appointments ontop of everything else. Luckily my grandad is over his chest infection so has started his chemo again and iv found a support group for copd for my nana so hopefully that will keep her busy. My husband has realised in the last few weeks im not superwoman and has made a huge turnaround he has been my rock lately which has really took the pressure off. I just wish things were made a bit easier by the local councils. I might be getting a little bit respite in january by durham university they have funding and are interested in helping families in easington if anyone is interested. x
Blimey Danielle - you have a lot to cope with!

Welcome to the forum.

There is a lot of help out there, it's just finding it! If you have a modest income, the Family Fund could help - my son is now 32 but when he was a child they gave us money to go on a much needed holiday. He had severe learning difficulties and was very hyperactive. I have friends who have been given a washing machine, and driving lessons. There was also a Florence Nightingale Fund or Trust, which gave money to support people needing help relating to medical conditions. Your social worker will need to support your application. Have you had a benefits review recently? It is quite possible that you might be entitled to benefits that you are not aware of. Carers UK should be able to help with this. Good luck. I know how tough life must be for you at the moment. Jill