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Burnout - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum


Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Can I just check that mum is claiming Attendance Allowance? This might then give her more pension money too, and if you are not claiming Carers Allowance already, would make that also possible.

If brother isn't helping care for mum, then he is forfeiting any right to a say whether or not mum has respite.
Doc and practice nurse are aware. Won’t help. Hopeless.
I did get mum AA day and night care. But good carers are in short supply.
Hi! I'm new here, but I read your story. So sorry to hear... I've read multiple sad carer stories. I've not experienced it so bad myself. About the vitamin D deficiency, one of my friends just started taking supplements and it helped her. She maintains a healthy lifestyle too. So I guess this helps.
I have been a carer for a couple of years for my grandparents in junction with my family, but finally we came together and hired private carers. We've done extensive research for months on end until we found some services which really helpedd us, so maybe enlisting the services of private carers will be a good idea.
You MUST access respite for your Mum. You sound very unwell and need a break. Unless your brother is willing for your Mum to move in with him for 2 weeks, then he has no say over whether she has respite care.

I know you feel that you don't have the energy to fight, and I am so sorry you have to. But you need to try and summon up the strength to do so for a little longer so you can have some time off to recover. You ARE important. Even if you don't feel like it right now.

If you getting out of the situation feels easier than getting your Mum into respite how about a stay in an AirBnB or holiday let. Then you could explain to the owners the need for it to be perfume free and ask that they air the property and remove any air freshener etc. Might be easier than a hotel? Book the stay away and then tell your brother and social services you are going and they will need to step up for the time you are away?

I know it all sounds and feels so bloomin hard when you think about doing it. But I really think the initial pain and stress of taking a break will do you the world of good and help you assess what needs to happen longer term.

Sorry you are going through this.