Being forced to put my mother in a home

[robin_1506]

hi everyone,,,i'm a carer for my mum who is 87 years of age, she had advanced dementia sadly but she can still use her mobility scooter with guidance... I'm really been struggling with her for the last month since her funding has run out, the funding in question gave me two days of four hours break. using direct payment has worked well for me however it's all run out and i'm really don't know if A. If my mum will get more funding and B. if so When ?? , last time time this happened i struggled for over four months.... what's makes this particularly sad is,,,, I can cope if i can get break however at present , she a 24/7 very demanding person , ....the situation is such everyone saying put her into a care home, WHY should I ?, if the council got it act together i wouldn't be in this situation.... She fought for this country , cared for injured soldiers in Southend, she was a foster mother for 100 of childrens, she been a subject of a BBC documentary exploring the role of a foster mother ..... the GPS and related services are a waste of time.... no real commitment from anyone , and the Dementia Crisis team, hahhaha, now that's funny...

[bowlingbun]

Hi Robin, short circuit past your local Social Services and go to the top, find out where the Director of Social Services has his office (Google should help) and then ring his PA to ask why you've been left in this situation. Tonight, google "NHS Continuing Healthcare Checklist" and see if you think mum qualifies. If so, ask your GP to arrange a "checklist assessment" asap. CHC is administered by the CCCG - Clinical Care Commissioning Group - of the NHS. This is something of a postcode lottery I'm afraid, care can be arranged at home or a nursing home bed can be funded. CHC is entirely free, no means test. SSD care is means tested.

[robin_1506]

Right , thank you

[Melly1]

Hi Robin,

How ridiculous the funding has stopped. Clearly your Mum's condition isn't going to improve. BB knows how to take on social services! Emphasise the financial savings 8hrs care funded by direct payments versus footing the bill for permanent residential care costs!

Melly1

[robin_1506]

I have always argued that it's cheaper to keep mum at home ....I have lost all faith in the system, it simply doesn't care about me or my mother come to that,,,, From GP's to so called support services....costing us money but providing a service that wants to dictate, for example when I realised that the Essex Dementia Crisis team simply wanted to talk... I refused to talk to them any-more , what 's the point I thought however they decided to involve the police to call round to my house for a welfare check on my mum.....

My own GP remarked "there are a lot of people out there in your situation", very helpful... I explained to them that waiting in a surgery will be hell for mum.. they made me wait nearly one hour and forty five minutes, my mum was hopping ...from shouting out remarks to trying to walk out,, my head was ready to burst...

If the services could get it act together my life would be so much easier thus allowing me to concentrate on keeping my mum as safe as possible since i believe she living in a world of 40+ years ago , her parents are alive and i'm her husband...

[bowlingbun]

Robin, would mum be self funding, if she went into residential care (roughly over £23,000)? Have SSD done a recent Carers Assessment for you? The rules have changed recently, so make sure you insist on one being done urgently.

[robin_1506]

Mum's house is rented and she has no assets now...

[bowlingbun]

Under those circumstances, you are in a much better position with SSD, as if mum went into residential care, they would be the ones who would be paying! Stress that the support you were having was VITAL. Also point out that they should not be withdrawing any service without a reassessment showing that mum's needs had gone down. Clearly they were gradually getting worse, and there had not as yet been any reassessment, and she was a very "vulnerable adult".

[Anne001]

Why on earth has the funding stopped?? Yes, it is much cheaper for mum to be at home than in a home.

In addition to what Bowlingbun suggests, I would phone your local Social Services Emergency Line and stress that your mum is a vulnerable adult and needs support / reassessment now. It may also be worth contacting your local MP to see what clout he has.

Sending a huge ((hug)). A very stressful time for you
Anne

[Scally]

Yes, it will cost them more if she goes into a home. Its time for some tough negotiations, and the advice above is good.