Becoming a full time carerer v paying outside help

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Once again my wife has been in hospital with suspected TIA , After scans and various other tests we have been told my wife has not had a stroke and that her problems are more related to her pituirity condition,all I know at this stage my wife needs more help with daily living,opinions on being full time carer please.
Hi and welcome to the forum Michael Ingamells


Tilly
Hi Micheal Ingamells

Welcome to the forum. I've been so used to old forum, it's taken me a while to get used to the new one, hence my late reply. It doesn't help that I'm a complete computer numptie.

Everybodies situation is different so no one thing applies to all. I'd been my 84 year old mum's (who has dementia and poor mobility) part-time carer with dad (who had cancer) from Jan 2011.
June last year mum had a TIA (mini-stroke) and was in hospital for two weeks. I then became mum's full-timer carer as noways could dad cope. I had to give up my job, and now practically live with my parents.
I thought being a full-time carer would be the same as being a part-time carer, only more of it. They're are two entirely different things.
As a part-time carer I worked and had a social life. As a full-time carer I lost all of that. Do I regret it? Not one bit of it.
I'm much closer to my mum now (we were a bit distant to each other before) and I've learnt so much about myself. Like, given half the chance, I'm not the impatient, selfish cow I always thought I was. I actually enjoy caring! If some one had told me that 3years ago, I'd of thought they were mad.
I've decided that when mum dies, I want to go in to caring as a profession; much more socially useful than stacking shelves in a supermarket (my previous job) and far more rewarding, even if the pay is equally as rubbish.
Regarding the finances of giving up work to care full-time, again everyone is different. Different rules apply to what you can claim depending on the ages of both the carer and caree.
As mum's a pensioner she can't claim DLA (or whatever it's now called) and instead get's something called Attendance Allowance. As she needs tending to day and night she get's the higher level which is £79 per week.
I get Carers Allowance, which is £59.75p per week, plus an Income Support top-up of £11, plus Carers Premium. All of which totals to £105 per week. However, different rules apply to pensioner age carers (I'm 54.)
I'm only marginally worse off than when I was working. If you're in a well paid, full-time job, that would not be the case.
The benefits field is a nightmere to understand, and an even bigger nightmere to claim. The best thing to do is to ring the CarersUK help line. They'll be able to explain it much better than me.
Good luck with it all, and my best wishes to both you and your wife. If it's any consolation my mum physically recovered quickly from her TIA, although her other separate conditions have worsened over time.
Hi Michael. I'm not in the UK so I can't comment on financial issues or whatever caring options might be available.

All I can say is that being a full time carer is hard. Not just because of what is involved, but also because one tends to miss what one no longer has. I never ever thought I'd miss that dreaded Monday morning drive to work, but I went through a stage of missing it very much.

On the flip side, a full time carer can understand problems better and therefore find solutions. Also, it can in many ways be truly rewarding.

If you're prepared for a challenge, for good times as well as bad, for fun times as well as chaos, go for it.
Hi Michael - welcome to the forum!

Bell x
Thanks, Mick
Welcome. Don't do anything without a full social services assesment, and also a carers assessment for yourself.
Definitely agree with Bowlingbun. Get an assessment - you would not be able to continue at work without help, but even staying at home you will need help to sustain the care.
Thanks for advice folks, a community care assessment is now being arranged for my wife (Pam), have not been informed when this will happen as yet, with right outcome should make life easier for both of us, then will have to decide which option to go with be full time carer or have outside carers. Again many thanks for replies.