Another Newbie

[Michelle_1503]

Hi everyone, I'm a carer for my hubby who has spondylosis, arthritis & aggression depression, we've been together 14 years & his general aches & pains started just as we got together & eventually over time worsened & he got his diagnoses, I am now his carer in my own right as I only just became awarded carers, I didn't apply earlier as it's been a battle to get him on a benefit that qualified me to receive it.

I seem to have unofficially been a carer for the best part of my life, my mum was a prescribed medicine addict then alcoholic, I remember her relying more & more heavily on me from the age of 8 until I was 36 by which time she was really ill, had suffered breakdowns & was needing me daily to do for her, she sadly passed away when I was 37 but later that same year my dads world came crashing down on him too, his marriage broke up, he was homeless and needed me to help him organise him.

We got him a new home & all the things he'd need, he's been alcoholic all my life, so after this marriage fell apart he hit the booze heavily, he had a breakdown became totally dependent on us, fell & broke his hip & generally gave up, he fell again, banged his head & his behaviour became worse, he was also diagnosed with COPD & for a time was in & out of hospital, in the end he came to live with us but his behaviour was difficult, he had another breakdown, was hospitalized & assessed as having alcoholic dementia, we agreed I couldn't manage him & he is now in a care home.

I wish I had know about carers groups during these years but unfortunately didn't but I do now so all is good

[jenny lucas]

Dear Michelle - what a life you've had! It's almost impossible for me to find words to say what you've been through. I suppose 'at least' you only have your husband to think about now, which has to be good in that respect.

I do hope that somewhere in between a lifetime of caring for others, you manage somehow to get some time and consideration for yourself. Because you most certainly, certaintly, certainly deserve it after all you've done for others.

With kind regards, and I hope you're life can be a little easier - Jenny

[bowlingbun]

Hi Michelle, welcome to the forum. My mum had hyperostosis, very similar to spondylosis, she was very bent when she was older, but lived to 87. She was disabled for many years before agreeing to claim benefits too.

[Michelle_1503]

Hi to both of you, it hasn't all been bad, I've had 5 wonderful children inbetween all the caring & now have 4 lovely grand-children, so there have been plenty of nice times too, I'm very blessed

[jenny lucas]

Very glad to hear you've had some sunshine in your life! And talking of blessed, well, sounds to me like your parents were/are incredibly blessed to have you as their daughter.....

[Brindleboy123]

Hi Michelle, better late than ever sorry as only just read your post! Welcome to the forum. You certainly have had a gret deal to cope with over the years and I'm sure the grandchildren brighten your days. I only have the one and unfortunately he is back in the UK but I love to chatter with him.

Please have a look around and post as and when you feel like it. Good to have you on board.

Bell x