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help - Carers UK Forum


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hi im new to this site and im looking for some advice.im a single mum and i have a ten yr old autistic child. due to my sons behaviour i am having to consider giving up my job. im very scared as i have no other means to pay my morgage. i dont really know where to go for help so would appreciate it if anyone could adivise me on this. thanku.
Hi Lynette,
Before you take any drastic action, think carefully. If you have a job you enjoy, then it should be possible to hang onto it. It is the biggest regret of my life that I was unable to use all my hard earned qualifications because I had a disabled child. He is now 35, with severe learning difficulties, but fit as a flea. Have you been in touch with Social Services for an updated needs assessment for your son, and a Carers Assessment for yourself? This should be high on your list of priorities. They are supposed to support carers to stay in work. Various things may be possible, you won't know until you ask. Are you certain that you are claiming all the benefits for your son which he is entitled to? Does he have DLA Care and Mobility? If you are in any doubt at all about what he is entitled to, our Carers UK helpline will be able to help. They will also be able to give more information about services which you are entitled to. They made me £50 a week better off!! Last, but by no means least, do you know what is upsetting your son, to make his behaviour extra difficult. There are others on the forum who will be along presently who have lots of experience with autism etc. who might be able to make suggestions. Are you happy with his future education plans, as he'll be going to secondary school next year presumably? You may well have explored some, or all, of these ideas already of course.
Hi Lynette and welcome,

I agree with BB, ring/email the helpline for financial advice. Think very carefully before giving up your job. I juggle work and caring for S (he's now 23, has autism and attends a local specialist college.) there are never enough hours in my day, but working does keep me sane. Would cutting your hours work?

What sort of schooling is your son having? Where is he on the autism spectrum?

Having considered your situation a bit more, I wonder if your employer is making things difficult for you to continue working, because sometimes you have to take time off because of an incident involving your son. Under these circumstances, the employer is actually breaking the law - you are covered by the Equality legislation (previously the Disability Discrimination Law) as you too are counted as being disabled "by association". They have a duty to make "reasonable adjustments" for you.