Hi again folks and thanks for the warm welcome.
Isabella, I do feel for you and some of the things you said remind me very much of my mother. I think you really need to see a professional and get a diagnosis for your mum.
Depression and Alzheimer's go side by side. My mother has both! Once your mum has been assessed you can then try and get as much help as possible. I found that when my mother was diagnosed she was then referred to a social worker for an assessment. At the time, I was working so he arranged for a care agency to visit mum and give her meds and make her meals etc (everything I do now). Then there was the Occupational Therapist who assessed Mum's needs and we ended up having a shower fitted in her bathroom. You can't really get any help until your Mum see's a Consultant. I believe that you have an apointment soon, so good luck with that and let us know how you get on. It sounds like the sooner you get some help and support the better. It can't be easy with two young children.
My friend had just had a baby when she ended up having her mother come to live with her. She had a form of dementia and was doubly incontinent. It was really hard for her but she did get carer's coming into the house to help out - washing her mum and toileting/feeding her etc. I know this is not the same as your situation but at the end of the day we all have to have some backup.
Good luck,
Elaine. x