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Another new member here, can I ask you for your help please? - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Another new member here, can I ask you for your help please?

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hi Elaine and welcome

Lots of us on here understand how you are feeling. I look after my Mum who has Vasuclar Dementia and she has been bed bound for a year now.
You are never alone on here,

Hi again folks and thanks for the warm welcome.

Isabella, I do feel for you and some of the things you said remind me very much of my mother. I think you really need to see a professional and get a diagnosis for your mum.
Depression and Alzheimer's go side by side. My mother has both! Once your mum has been assessed you can then try and get as much help as possible. I found that when my mother was diagnosed she was then referred to a social worker for an assessment. At the time, I was working so he arranged for a care agency to visit mum and give her meds and make her meals etc (everything I do now). Then there was the Occupational Therapist who assessed Mum's needs and we ended up having a shower fitted in her bathroom. You can't really get any help until your Mum see's a Consultant. I believe that you have an apointment soon, so good luck with that and let us know how you get on. It sounds like the sooner you get some help and support the better. It can't be easy with two young children.

My friend had just had a baby when she ended up having her mother come to live with her. She had a form of dementia and was doubly incontinent. It was really hard for her but she did get carer's coming into the house to help out - washing her mum and toileting/feeding her etc. I know this is not the same as your situation but at the end of the day we all have to have some backup.
Good luck,
Elaine. x
Hi and welcome to the forum Image
Hi Elaine and welcome.

I am also an only child and gave up work to take care of my mum full time 4 years ago. She lives with me and is very physically disabled and has to be hoisted. She also has severe dementia.

A few years ago mum had an assessment for her dementia but I was told it was severe (like I didnt know!) and the specialist could only prescribe for mild to moderate as it was too late for the medication to work in severe patients. At the time I took this at face value as I didnt know any different and just accepted it. I am interested to know if it has been given to people with severe dementia and if it works?

I studied for my NVQ3 in Health and Social Care some years ago, and I know just how much work you have to put in! I admire you very much for all that study as well as your caring commitments! Image

Kind regards,


Thanks for the welcome Piscesmaid and hello Teresa,

It's great to hear from everyone on here and share our problems. Teresa, you seem to have a similar situation to me. I am in my forties and have 2 grown up children who have now moved out (although I might be getting the eldest back!!), I'm also an only child and as you already know I care for my mother.

Life is hard work at the moment as I'm trying to pack as I'm moving house (as if I'm not stressed out enough!).

I started studying for my NVQ Level 3 in March and it should finish in Dec 09/Jan 2010. I'm a little fed up at the moment, not of the work just the placement. I've been put in a care home but the staff just take me for granted and leave me to do the washing up and bed making. I don't need an NVQ in washing up! I get enough of that at home. Anyway, I decided to apply for a bank job for a care agency where I can get assessed by my tutor in the community. At least I can get some 'hands on' experience.

As for the Alzheimer's drugs I don't believe they prescribe the drugs when the patients are in the latter stages of the disease. I've just finished my assignment and it seemed to take forever! I don't know of any Alzheimer's suffer's who have still had the drugs when they were in the severe stages of the disease, so I can't help with your question I'm afraid. Although I can find out for you as I go to a carer's meeting at my local Memory Clinic which Mum attends every 6 months.

Best wishes,
Hello Elaine and welcome. I can understand what you say about being the only child. There are so many times when I've wished that I had a brother or sister to help me out - or at least to talk to. You're never short of someone to talk to on here though - it's great! Image
Hi Elaine

welcome to the forum Image