Advice on a bariatric bed pan for the big job

[Indira_1703]

I am caring for my 82 year old mother, who has Parkinson's, Heart Failure, Arthritis and now a few fractures in her right leg after a fall. My mother now requires 24 hour care. She is 106 kilos and is heavy in the middle. I have tried all sorts of bed pans, one arrived today and cost £60 but is not suitable for her big job. http://www.benmormedical.co.uk/bariatri ... rtpan.html
The others provided by the NHS were also not suitable, one was too high to push under (basic white bed pan), the other a slipper pan (lost under her). I have looked up several sites and tried to research it. Called a few stores, but none would recommend anything. Spoke to OT's and nurses and both came back with nothing.

I am at my wits end, as mum is bed bound and even the hoist is way too painful to use to get her to the commode. Besides trying to do your business on your side is uncomfortable and very difficult to clean. Would be very grateful for any advice.
Indira

[bowlingbun]

Hello Indira, are you caring for mum without any regular help?

[jenny lucas]

Would 'nappies', as used by dementia patients who are doubly incontinent, actually be easier for your mum, do you think? I guess she'd have to be turned sideways 'afterwards' to be cleaned up, however.

[Greta]

I agree with Jenny - the time has come for pads. The bedpan is not going to work. It seems quite common for patients to be labelled double incontinent because they physically cannot reach a commode. 106 kg is not massive but you say it is concentrated round the middle and there are other problems.
I also agree you should not be sorting this out on your own. Is there a continence nurse in your area? We were constantly told there was none, but accidentally discovered one lived across the road (my brother was nearer 200 kg). The pads supplied by NHS eventually were sufficient neither in size or number so we bought bigger ones, and in our case they did not even fit as pads, but the careworkers placed them as best they could.

[not a martyr]

I am not knowledgeable on this subject at all but would it be better to just use one of those waterproof large disposable square things that are made for gynae procedures/after giving birth? I know it isn't ideal in many ways and there is some clearing up but they are pretty good at what they catch (some experience there, had a "big uterus clear-out" a couple of years back, messy,) and no moving and handling of a larger person other than them lying on it. I think some people have an inhibition about "going in the bed", and yes I guess there is an "optimum position" to be in to open the bowels. So maybe it isn't a solution. I suppose it depends on how solid the stool is as well. Just an idea.

You do need some help here too. I am sorry you are having to deal with this on your own. xxx

[Indira_1703]

Hello Indira, are you caring for mum without any regular help?

Until her fall at the end of Feb, I was doing it all alone and for 10 days or more after her very short visit to A&E. Fractures were discovered a week later. Now I have temporary carers coming in just for personal hygiene and really not much help. That is another huge worry for me. Social Services will not tell me the cost. Have called several times. They want a financial assessment done and mum does not want one done. She has never asked for any help, being a teacher for 40 years. They are keeping me in the dark and talking about charging in retrospective. I have no family or friends to rely on for support.

[Indira_1703]

Would 'nappies', as used by dementia patients who are doubly incontinent, actually be easier for your mum, do you think? I guess she'd have to be turned sideways 'afterwards' to be cleaned up, however.

I had no choice but to source nappies. However, there seems to be not much room in them for the big job. It all started oozing out the sides. Mum tried doing it on her side, but it is difficult. The other thing is that the Morphine and Co-codemol make her constipated. She is scared to take her Lactulose and Laxido because we have not found a solution to how to deal with this. Kept asking the MERIT team for help regarding this and it took many weeks to get a hoist sorted. Eventually we found that with the fractures, it is extremely painful for my mum to be hoisted to the commode. A nightmare.

[Indira_1703]

I agree with Jenny - the time has come for pads. The bedpan is not going to work. It seems quite common for patients to be labelled double incontinent because they physically cannot reach a commode. 106 kg is not massive but you say it is concentrated round the middle and there are other problems.
I also agree you should not be sorting this out on your own. Is there a continence nurse in your area? We were constantly told there was none, but accidentally discovered one lived across the road (my brother was nearer 200 kg). The pads supplied by NHS eventually were sufficient neither in size or number so we bought bigger ones, and in our case they did not even fit as pads, but the careworkers placed them as best they could.

A continence nurse came, but did not want to hear anything I had to say. She said it was on Rio. All she did was see what pads I had sourced and sent me an order of something similar many many weeks later. I guess there is a lot of strain on these teams and the NHS.

[Indira_1703]

I am not knowledgeable on this subject at all but would it be better to just use one of those waterproof large disposable square things that are made for gynae procedures/after giving birth? I know it isn't ideal in many ways and there is some clearing up but they are pretty good at what they catch (some experience there, had a "big uterus clear-out" a couple of years back, messy,) and no moving and handling of a larger person other than them lying on it. I think some people have an inhibition about "going in the bed", and yes I guess there is an "optimum position" to be in to open the bowels. So maybe it isn't a solution. I suppose it depends on how solid the stool is as well. Just an idea.

You do need some help here too. I am sorry you are having to deal with this on your own. xxx

The square things seem to be a good option. I will need to source them asap. Thank you for the idea.

[jenny lucas]

Indira, in terms of financial assessment to see whether your mum is eligible for 'free' carers, one obvious question is 'Does she own the house/flat she is living in?' If she does, then I would say that she is 'automatically' above the threshold for free care? (Others here will know).

Who is in charge of her finances? Who is paying household bills (eg, electricity, food, and so on). If she is bedbound, presumably she can't get to a bank etc. Does she write out cheques for bills, or are they paid 'automatically' out of her bank account?

Do you think your mum doesn't actually want 'anyone else' looking after her except you? Sadly, this is very common with the elderly - but they fail to realise that it becomes IMPOSSIBLE for one daughter alone to do all that needs to be done.

She may not want to pay for outside help because she wants to 'conserve' her money, or even to be able to pass it on to you when the time comes, but right now, the MOST important thing in her life is being well looked after and that should not be by you alone- she needs to spend some of her money in getting YOU the help you need! This is essential if there is no one else in the family available to help you look after her.

It does sound, you know, like the situation is becoming difficult to the point of impossible for you to manage. What will happen when your mum gets even weaker? Sadly, that is going to be inevitable as time passes.

You CANNOT be expected to look after your mum for the rest of her life single handed, and she cannot expect you to do it. It isn't fair on you....

However much you love her, and however dedicated you are, you need help.

Kindest wishes, at a stressful time, Jenny