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Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 10:43 pm
i am new to this
I am cuurently in full time employment. However, my mum needs increasing amount of care as time goes. I have to make a decision do i stay in employment or become a full time carer. she does not want to go into a home and i do not want her to goes into a home. If i become a full time carer what benefits am i entiled to? (if any) the only thing i know is attendance allowance of £97
Could someone please advice
Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 10:27 am
Hello Pushpa and welcome to the Forum, Lots of advice, info and support on here so you have come to the right place.
I agree with Audrey though; you need professional advice on benefits as the system is so complicated. Carers UK advice line is good place to start. One thing I do know for sure is that you do not get much! Which makes me wonder - like you, I care for my mum while working full-time and may not be able to work forever. However, it is my lifeline to a relatively normal world. Is there any possibility to reduce your hours / days or work from home, to postpone the inevitable? As anyone here will tell you, it can be a very lonely business when you are caring full-time. Hope to hear more from you and your mum, whatever you decide. Good luck!
Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 10:54 am
Hi Pushpa and welcome
Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 4:59 pm
Hiya and a warm welcome to the forum.
Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 8:25 pm
hello and welcome
Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 9:33 pm
I had this same dilemma, but when i looked into the facts and figures it would not work out for me to give up work, as i would not be able to cover my bills and live even a sedative life on benefits, could you not find a suitable carer to come and look after mum whilst you are at work, I agree that just caring for mum and having no other outside life might be depressing and then you would be blaming your mum i think , Glad to hear from another newbie
Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2011 10:01 am
Hi and welcome,
First place for advice is to ask your local social services for an assessment: they will know what services are available to help you stay in work. Giving up work is a huge decision and often very difficult to revert. Cheers, Rob
Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2011 3:13 pm
Many thanks for your thoughts, advice and comments
Please don't get me wrong i know it is a big decision but i feel i should do something where my mum is not suffering. Her condition will get worse and i feel i want to spend as much time as possible with her but the practicalities are difficult interms of what will i live on. Her life has changed in many ways in the last 18 months. She has lost confidence and has early stages of dementia i work in another town i just want to do what's best for her not me. i am scared if i give work up work will i be a good carer? i am also aware/scared that my life wiil change and what will keep me sane (as my work is my escape)
As mentioned i have been ringing around and getting advice and looking at my options. Went to see a day care centre today. Going to see another one Tomorrow will see how that goes. But as you all know it is difficult to keep the emotions out of the equation and try and do all this while holding down a a full time job
Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2011 7:28 pm
Pushpa would it be possible for you to work part time? I just wondered if it was a possible option to give you that 'time out' but still giving you some additional time to spend with your mum as you want to. I know some employers are flexible while others aren't so good and maybe it's not even an option for you but thought I'd mention it.
Hope you manage to sort out something that satisfies both you and your mum.
Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2011 10:52 pm
In the last 18 months alot has changed in her life, my dad passed away. she can't cope being alone and has lost all confidence. i tried to organised day care at day center but she panics and gets the runs/crys etc. How can be of help without her help? But realistically she doesn't know what she wants. she won't even try due to lack of confidence. i don't want to force anything on her but if she goes to the day care i can keep my job and abit of my life. i have been in my current job for 27yrs but i am too young to retire and too old to take a career break. she says i can't give my job after all this time and she understand what is going when she is with it but then she loses the plot. We live different cities which make things very difficult
what do i do? i feel so helpless!!!!!
Has anyone out there had a similar experience?