My 94 year old mum has just died; I was her sole carer for years. I'm not sure the impact of this happening is fully appreciated no matter how much we should expect this. If anyone else says 'oh but she was a good age' I might feel compelled to clump them!! You love and care for someone all day; every day; and then they've gone. The death is, of course, very distressing, but also no longer being 'mum' to an oldie you care for is an additional shock.
Carers work so hard, physically and emotionally, and are on task 24/7 and then suddenly your full time 'job' stops. It is incredibly unsettling and finding yourself with free brain time is quite bizarre - suddenly you have no deadlines to chase; you're not fighting your parent's corner like a demented rottweiler; you are not racing hither and yon to get things done for someone else who can't do it themselves; you are, shock horror, having time to look after yourself which is very odd. Suddenly being an orphan at 64 is a very peculiar situation - it's going to take quite a while to get used to it.
Carers work so hard, physically and emotionally, and are on task 24/7 and then suddenly your full time 'job' stops. It is incredibly unsettling and finding yourself with free brain time is quite bizarre - suddenly you have no deadlines to chase; you're not fighting your parent's corner like a demented rottweiler; you are not racing hither and yon to get things done for someone else who can't do it themselves; you are, shock horror, having time to look after yourself which is very odd. Suddenly being an orphan at 64 is a very peculiar situation - it's going to take quite a while to get used to it.