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Anxiety since Mother died - Carers UK Forum

Anxiety since Mother died

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
I have been virtually unable to leave the house for months now.

I am having italk sessions by phone once a fortnight as advised by my gp.

I take st johns wort twice a day which has turned the constant terror into more manageable fear, esp bad in the mornings.

I just want life to be fun again. Is it possible to get over anxiety? I know so many people with it in some form but no one who is literally terrified an a regular basis.

My mind is ruining my life.

Living alone does not suit me.
Jacqueline_180912 wrote:
Tue Jun 18, 2019 11:45 am
I have been virtually unable to leave the house for months now.

I am having italk sessions by phone once a fortnight as advised by my go.

I take st johns wort twice a day which has turned the constant terror into more manageable fear, esp bad in the mornings.

I just want life to be fun again. Is it possible to get over anxiety? I know so many people with it in some form but no one who is literally terrified an a regular basis.

My mind is ruining my life.

Living alone does not suit me.
Have you made contact with...
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helplines/
Jacqueline,

I remember your struggles with mum, and would liken what you are going through now as a sort of Post Traumatic Stress.

Have you spoken to your doctor?

After I was widowed I virtually gave up sleeping. At 3am I was often doing accounts and paperwork. Then I realised that although I did not want medication, my body needed it because I was completely and utterly exhausted.

Initially he prescribed Amitryptilene, which left me with not a care in the world, put me to sleep within half an hour of taking it, but I really couldn't concentrate at all on one pill. Half worked a lot better. Gradually needed them less and less, so reduced the dose to a quarter of a pill and then just gave up taking them.

After all my battles with Social Services I ended up in a similar position last year, a different GP, and was prescribed Sertraline. Really resent the need of having to take them, but I was tired through lack of sleep. They are not so sleep inducing, but make me generally a bit calmer and able to deal with the stress of dealing with SS and Ombudsman better. I haven't taken any the last few weeks, as I'm having work done on my cottage. Plasterers, builders, decorators and plumbers all start work at 8am.

Try to think of what your body needs most at the moment, when I was widowed, the widows forum members all agreed that the Six Month Low, i.e. 6 months after their partner died, was the worst low point, and you can't be far off that now?
Hi Jacqueline
Sorry to hear you are suffering so.
Without someone living with you to support and bolster you up, it's important that you remember all the good and positives in your past for yourself.. Whether that's congratulating yourself every morning that you have made a nice cup of tea, or you give yourself great big pats on the back for all the difficult things you did for Mum. Keep reminding yourself of anything and everything positive whenever you can, no matter how small

It would also help if you had someone or something to care for, perhaps a dog or cat ? Or some voluntary work to go to. With all your experience your local carers group could probably use you as a befriender to someone stuck in.

hope this helps a little
Kr
MrsA
Jacqueline
I understand where you are coming from. I can be in danger of becoming reclusive. My husband passed on the 11th May and the few weeks of all the arrangements etc are passing now, leaving me with that brain fog at times. The ' what do I do with myself now feeling" ? Luckily my family don't give me chance to become reclusive. Have house refurbishment to consider now.
Not much help but want you to know I understand. Keep posting, as others will support you.
Losing your mum feels like losing your world. Nothing anyone can say can resolve the pain you feel. Ease will come at it's own pace and you will find that in your own way of doing things. It's a process that can't be rushed and is something you live with on a daily basis. Each person is different in how they cope with things.
In time maybe a support group would be of help
Cruse are a charity that deals with bereavement: The helpline is open Monday-Friday 9.30-5pm (excluding bank holidays), with extended hours on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday evenings, when we’re open until 8pm.

The number is 0808 808 1677​

The helpline MIND 0300 304 7000 is a resource you could use in times of needing to talk things through.

Also https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets ... nxiety.pdf maybe of some help.

Always feel you can talk to us here at the forum x

Attachments

Thank you so much for all your replies.

My son is staying here for a week which has made such a difference to how I feel. I do have some good friends around and a lovely tenant but concerned that being pretty much too afraid to leave the house most days is becoming the current norm.

I will contact mind and cruise. Wish I could get benefits but lack of photo i.d prevents this.

Have managed to borrow from a good friend. Roll on probate!
Wish I could get benefits but lack of photo i.d prevents this.

Are you sure ?

https://universalcreditinfo.net/myths/i ... rt-a-claim

Additional source :
What ID do I need to claim benefits ?

Proof of identity

a birth certificate.
a credit card or credit card statement.
a driving licence.
a letter from your social worker or doctor.
a marriage certificate.
a passport.
a P45 or P60.
two recent bank or building society statements.
Yes Chris. I dont drive and I cannot find my (out of date) passport anywhere.

It is a bit of a b****rd but there it is,
Other means of identification listed ... not of the " Just look how ugly I am " variety ... apt in my case ... ?