Support for former carers?

[Helen_20021234]

Hello.

I've been caring my my Nanna for over a year, until this weekend when it was decided that it was no longer safe for her to be at home on her own and she has now gone in to full time care. I'm really struggling with the guilt of not being able to provide the care she needed to keep her at home, and that there was nothing I could do to stop it. I feel like I'm grieving for both the grandaughter/grandmother relationship I once had with her, and now the caring role that somehow developed. I had no idea about carer support until recently, and now I'm worried it's too late to get any support for how I'm feeling because she's gone into full time care.

If anyone has any advice I'd be so grateful for anything.

Thank you.

[Pet66]

Hi Helen
You have cared for your nana for a long time, so nothing at all to be guilty about. Change the word guilt to sad. You can now visit the home, and oversee her care, ensuring everything is as it should be.
How old is Nana and what is wrong with her health?

[Karen Dee]

Hi Helen. I agree with Pet66 - you have been very kind and caring to your nana so you have nothing to feel guilty about. However, the feelings you are experiencing are normal n these circumstances. You are young and this is a lot for you to cope with. What about your parents - are they on the scene?
You could get counselling - your GP will be able to refer you or you can have private counselling which will be quicker but you would have to pay for it.

Where I live (outer London) there are Carer support groups for my London borough. I can phone them for advice or arrange free appointments with them where they offer support. I can also go to the monthly meetings to meet other carers. Have a look on the internet to see if there is anything like that in your area.

Your nana is safe and is being well looked after by a team of carers. Sometimes it is just too much for one person (that is something we all have to face).

[Honey Badger]

Helen,

You never really "stop" being a carer, and it is never too late to seek out support, I do hope you are able to find something, you should be able to self-refer to counselling immediately at your leisure, though I must tell you there is a postcode lottery style waiting time, dependant on where you live (demand)

You will still see your nana, you can still help by making the environment she now lives in a bit more "homely" for her, and you can go back to your time spent together focusing on quality time, for both of you as you share such a good bond.

Best wishes, and do stick around.