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Re: Moving forward - Carers UK Forum

Re: Moving forward

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
Hope I don't upset anyone by this thread and don't know quite how to put it, but here goes:-
My lovely engine friend of 12/13 years, the one who has been saying the lovely things about me, I've mentioned him before. Came round to finally sort remaining garage and engine things with me about 6 weeks' ago now, I put the kettle on and we stood in kitchen generally talking and about Mark and ex's etc. A few days after leaving we started texting and said a whole load more things, personal this time. Decided we'd better sit and talk properly and turns out that simmering feelings since the big rally in Macclesfield in June have come to the fore, for both of us. Thinking, whoooooaaaaa, no, no, no .....supposed to be friends, don't wanna lose that. Anyway, our tentative steps got closer and closer slowly over a matter of more days and weeks and now we are together as a couple and have been for maybe 4 weeks. We have a good base to work on, known each other on engine circuit AND in his professional manner (he builds lakes and general ground digging works with large JCBs/cranes etc), installing the septic tank, drainage, driveway,garden redesigning here at home for Mark and me.
We're a bit shocked at what's happening to us. For a start we've NEVER seen each other in normal clothes - always seen each other in oily jeans and mucky hair and greasy, dirty hands and fingernails, cos of the engines, so it's a bit strange actually seeing each other in CLEAN JEANS AND TOPS when we go out. It's getting better, but like someone or something has said, hmmmm, you two are great friends for years, he's on his own, you're on your own ...... what are you doing???? Get together then....
We are totally happy, he is fairly quiet, unassuming, gentle, hard working, decent man and I (and Mark actually) trust him completely and what's more I just feel completely safe. Both my kids have said they want me to be safe and smiling again. His mum and sister want him to be settled and safe and happy and his little son, too (who I've known since he was a baby anyway). Something has just clicked with us (well, with the three of us actually, cos son's included in all of this). We talk and talk and make sure this is what we both are ready for and want and it is.
Large rally this weekend will shake up the engine guys (cos, I'll be sitting with them and the engine on the lorry), but we'll be novelty entertainment for Sunday and Monday until they get used to it. They're harmless, doesn't bother us, not walking round the show separately, we're together and that's it. We don't care what others say, our kids are happy with it, Mark's brother is happy about me, his mum is happy about us. Nothing else to say is there?
And he looks after me and cares and knows that I'll be a mess this coming November, he's expecting that anyway, but we're there for each other and care deeply already.
I am so very happy for you Fran Image I really, really hope it works out - you both deserve all the happiness in the world Image Image
So pleased for you. Wishing you both every happiness, Anne x
Thank you.
Not a short term 'fix' for either of us, talked about all that. In it for the long term and being friends for so long, kinda makes it easier. Just have to work a bit more on the personality sides of things.
Will be back in my scruffs again at the weekend anyway. Both can't wait to get it all out in the open, run the gauntlet of our engine mates together, won't be that hard with those lot!
Fantastic nana I'm so happy for you.
As we know only too well lifes to short, opportunities to be happy should be grasped with both hands Image

Love Booksey
I am so happy for you both that I actually have tears in my eyes reading your post.
Wishing you both all the happiness in the world and have fun at the rally on the weekend. xx
Have told Michelle that I'll be staying in Drayton after all and she said that no matter what I do I'll "still be her mummy and still be our nanaFran". Aww, she's not normally so sentimental, my big 28 year old, I cried when she said that. Too big a chance to miss out on and risk it fading out, by me moving to Tamworth just for the sake of it, she said.
Went to view the house again, last week, by the canal I looked at first in April and on Thursday, had my offer on it accepted.
Someone's telling us to get our act together, I feel. Even son in law said that I was smiling and happy again, at Coral's party. Yeah, I am, totally.
This is wonderful news - wishing you both every blessing and a happy life together xx
So happy for you nana. x x Love you to bits lovely lady. x x
Thank you for your support, you lovely friends.