pros and cons of bereavement counselling!advice needed!

[Bridget Leech]

Hope all goes well if only slowly. Counselling should be Therapeutic(ie Healing) Listening so you can find your way through your grief.It is not supposed to be telling you what to do. We all have to go through it, but it helps to feel that some one is there for you. Take it slowly, dont expect too much of your self and you will get there. I have been a widow 8 years.I can just about Accept but will never forget my 'soulmate'.
I like the anecdote some one told me.If you see a white feather on the ground, it means your loved one is saying, I am OK, hope you are. I was amazed how often it happened. Not so much now. I say at times- you had better watch out or your angel wings wont have any feathers left!! I did see one recently after I had been abroad at Christmas- so he must have thought it was OK and that I enjoyed it!!!
All Best Wishes

[big bear]

hiya dear bridget!
thanks so much for your words of encouragement
my memories of terry mean so much to me
i couldnt bear it if i lost the detail over time
i've got a long way to go!
my counsellor is just perfect for me
but the space between sessions is quite stressful
quess its all part of the grieving process,
wishing you daily white feathers dear bridget!
with me i think its daisies and dandelions
saw plenty of those today!
thanking you for the kindness of your support!
in solidarity bigbear x

[jenny lucas]

I, too, think that of white feathers! I read it on another website, and it stuck. Mind you, the very last thing I can imagine my hubby doing is dropping little white feathers for me every now and then - still, who knows. I'm sure he does if he thinks it will help me.

They do seem to appear just when I need them, so maybe... maybe....?? !!!

[big bear]

hi gang!
bigbear chatting!
now a few sessions into my bereavement counselling with my counsellor simone
taking it slowly,
and coping between sessions
seeing it as bouncing up and down,
at first the deeper emotions coming to the surface really depressed me
simone has helped me start to find the happy cheerful quirky bigbear i was when mr bigbear was alive
i'd thought that part of me had gone forever.
think the se sessions are healing me a lot
not sure where it is going
but not doing any harm
a luxury to have undivided attention of a wonderful attentive person to talk about mr bigbear for nearly an hour.
the pain of loss
the happy memories
next session tomoro morning!
wish me luck!
love and hugs
bigbear x

[bowlingbun]

Simone sounds lovely. Well done Big Bear.

[Juggler]

Big smiles for Big Bear!

[big bear]

hi gang!!!
thanks juggler andBB jenny and everyone!
ha, after worrying b4 starting grief counselling,
i'm now anxious about how i will cope when it finishes in 2 wks!

any tips?
or experience?
hugs bigbear x

[jenny lucas]

Have you taken a look at some of the support organisations for the widowed? I joined WAY UP (Widowed and Young 'upwards'...ie, for the over 50's) which was very good for me. Some of the forum is very 'jolly' about the widowed who are adapting to single life again, but there is a section for the 'newly bereaved' in which we could jut pour everything out to each other ....rather like we can do here about caring.

I'm glad the counselling has proved 'positive' ......my hospice (who provided the counselling) had an email facility whereby even after the sessions had ended I could post in and they would respond. I found I didn't need it, but it was good to know it was there 'just in case'.

Wishing you well in this 'new life we have to have but wish with all our hearts we didn't'......

KR, Jenny

[big bear]

y es jenny i agree about "wuppers",
( hoping to go to a london event in a month or 2!)
hugs bigbear x

[jenny lucas]

You're braver than I am then! I never quite 'dared' to go to anything - though I did meet up with one of the members who lived quite near me (tragically, her husband had taken his own life - can you imagine how dreadful and unbearable that must be for her and his family???)

All the very best to you with it, and with counselling. Life goes on....even when we think it 'shouldn't. I opened a file for myself when my husband died called 'Things to do in my New Life That I Don't Want But Have To Accept'.....

Some of my 'to do' list is stuff my husband would have HATED! (eg, I'm still hoping to go on my first cruise at some point - my husband would NEVER have gone on one!!!!! )(his idea of hell, trapped on the high seas with a bunch of people he couldn't get away from!!!!)