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I feel rubbish - Carers UK Forum

I feel rubbish

For anyone who is bereaved or no longer providing care.
I feel really rubbish today not sure if I'm coming down with something I'm tired as well I couldn't sleep last night. The house is really quiet (except for the dog snoring Image ) all the things I would normally talk to hubs about are rolling in my head and theres no one there to tell me to chill and relax or to tell me I'm justifed in being cross with something or some one.
The clerk of the parish council still hasn't issued a permit so hubs ashes can be interred the man is a complete prat we've been waiting since the 1st of November I will ring the undertakers again this week but I can feel a complaint coming on which I know will probably cause more trouble because hes that kind of man.
I'm going to my sil's for xmas lunch and the other sil who told everyone that hubs died because no one cared is going to be there I hope she doesn't say anything because I don't think I will be able to bit my tongue any longer
I've go get ready for work soon its going to be a big effort today. It will be a real test of patience.

Sorry for rattling on
Rattle on as much as you like Booksey.
Rattle on girl, better off your chest.
Christmas or not, I don't think I'd be able to hold my tongue if SIL started again.

Aww ((((((hugs))))) Booksey.

I talk to the cat when I've things rolling around in my brain - it sort of helps as saying things out loud often leads me to finding an answer to the problem.

Hope today goes well at work.
I dont think Id be able to bite my tongue either.
Work was really busy so no time to think which was good.
Got home to another run in with DS. Its not an arguement as such and I know a lot of its bound up with his dads illness and death and my dads as well as they were really close and some of its his age (hes 19). I made a very big mistake not long after his dad died. He said things that were horrid and was trying to be very dominant and I slapped him. I've regretted it ever since I did it and have told him it was unacceptable but he brings it up at every opportunity and I don't have the energy to deal with it any more. This is when I really miss hubby he was better at this stuff than me

sorry rattling again
Hey Booksey, you can rattle til your bones ache here! Sounds like DS is pushing you to your limits and may well be trying to show some dominance or that he is just not knowing how to handle his dads death. I would never condone hitting someone but I have no doubt that if it was a different time in your life it would not have happened. Who can say how any of us would react at such a time. I know on the day my dad died Mum and I had a terrible argument and I ended up at the cementary and fell asleep on my nans grave and had to climb out the place because nobody had noticed me and locked up!

Grieving is so terribly hard and I think we all deal with it differently - no right, no wrong way.

As for your sil...well. She certainly has no concept of caring or compassion. Rise above her...then give her a box around the ear'ole!!!

Bell x
What wrong with talking to hubby? I talk to hubby all the time when I can't find anything, or when I have to do this flippin' tax return. I say good morning and tell him what I've been doing all day and always say goodnight. Who cares? If I wanna talk to hubby then I will.
I know he can't answer, but what the heck, why stop talking to him now?
How true NanaNana. At least now you can always be certain of having the last word Image

I still have a wee chat to Grandad now and again, and he has been gone 48 years now.xx
Its not the talking to him its the not getting a reply Image

Although I did rant on Friday about why don't you send me a sign that I'm not making a complete hash of this. The next day his sister turned up with a bauble she'd made for the tree it had a picture of us from years ago before we had the kids. DD and I had decided not to put the tree up. So its hung up on the Christmas cactus my mum bought me because I was upset because mine has not flowered. Image